Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 27, 2019 / Posted by:

Hershey’s TasteTations!

In 1996, Hershey’s decided to give something to the memaw and pepaw set when they put out their first ever hard candy that they called TasteTations, which should not be confused with my upcoming line of flavored taint lube called TasteTaintions. But sadly, Hershey’s line of hard dingles didn’t make it out of the early-aughts.

TasteTations came in five flavors, that I know of, and they were butterscotch, caramel, peppermint, chocolate, and chocolate mint. The commercial had a 1950s-like jingle that stuck to brains the same way bits of TasteTations stuck to teefs forever.

Like pretty much everything that has been discontinued, there’s a legion of TasteTation disciples who are slobbering at the mouth for a chance to get their tongue on one. This TasteTation disciple described the deliciousness of their sugary drug of choice on a message board in 2012:

There are few candies as delicious as the tastetations. The mint was smooth and refreshing. The caramel is tasty but there is only one candy that ever made chocolate- TasteTations. no one has ever made such a delicious candy as the chocolate, which tastes like dark chocolate or Fudge. IT is wondrous, and I haven’t seen any in the states since 2000. My heart is breaking, I would love it if i could find a place that still sells for shipment to the states. I would pay $10 for a bag of mint and chocolate tastetations, S&H not included.

$10 a bag?! Why do I have a feeling that someone’s about to hit up that TasteTation-head with promise of some vintage TasteTation goodness only to send their ass some LifeSavers in a paper bag with the words ~100% REEL TasteTatuns~ written on it with a Sharpie. But seriously, it’s surprising that TasteTations weren’t a huge hit. I mean, they were individually wrapped, so you’d think every memaw and pepaw would snatch that shit up since they live to destroy the nerves around them while taking 2 hours to unwrap a hard candy during a 90-minute movie.

Pic: Innit

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