Sharon Osbourne was on The Kelly Clarkson Show and they talked about her plastic surgery. Kelly is a dainty Southern Belle and could never go under the knife–but was super interested and excited to hear all about how fun it is to get plastic put into you and your skin tucked into different places for cosmetic purposes. One fun aspect: Sharon says that she once completely lost feeling in her mouth after a facelift. “Does that mean the old bat can’t talk anymore?” thought Sharon’s latest arch rival Wendy Williams.
In an episode airing today, 67-year-old Sharon Osbourne and 37-year-old Kelly Clarkson talk about all the work that Sharon has done to her face. Kelly hasn’t gotten any surgeries because she’s afraid of the pain, although she’s cool with tattoos. Which is fair, a tattoo is a painful drawing–plastic surgery is someone cutting you open, taking shit out, putting things in, rearranging the situation, sewing you closed, and healing for four-to-six months. Ma’am: those are not equivalents. Sharon admitted she too is scared because you never know when that shit might turn left:
“I am, sure you could go in and wake up like Cyclops, you never know.”
Sharon got a facelift this summer, which she debuted on her show The Talk and talked about the elastic bands tying her jowls back. The surgery left her with some post-op complications which would have made it hard to… well… talk. She said:
“I had this thing where they lifted up my mouth and then for the first week I couldn’t feel my mouth, I can hardly feel my mouth now, to be honest with you… I couldn’t find my mouth. It was numb and it was up on one side and I looked like Elvis… All the kids and Ozzy are going “Why are you snarling at me” and I’m like “I’m not snarling I’m not doing anything!”“
Well Sharon, you may have a perma-snarl bitch-face but I don’t think anyone was calling you dainty-looking before, were they? And hey, at least with this new bitchy, younger look you can’t get fired from any more gigs for being too old. …Well until those elastic bands snap and your jowls come crashing down…
Here’s a preview of Sharon’s appearance: