Hilary Duff Isn’t Much Help In The 2nd Grade Homework Department
When I was a kid, oftentimes my homework was something simple and dumb, like “Go home and find some leaves to bring into class.” Maybe my teachers were too busy catching new episodes of ER and Seinfeld to get more creative than that. Obviously, such a comprehensive public school education served me well, since I can’t spell anything without wondering, “Okay so I before E, except after what now?” But kids these days – and yes I’m saying this while shaking my arthritic fist from my porch – are all about serious homework. Hilary Duff is a mom, which means she’s got to help her kid out with his homework. And she recently proved that her brain is being forced to work much harder than simply remembering where the I and E go.
Hilary posted a picture to Instagram of herself attempting to help her 7-year-old son Luca Comrie with his 2nd grade homework. Hilary says she stopped going to “real” school in the 3rd grade, but of course she means that’s when she moved from a traditional school environment to on-set film studio tutors that work specifically with child actors. Luca is in “real” school, which means he has real homework, and it’s real hard.
I have a baby, so naturally I broke into a cold sweat, because this is my future, and it’s TERRIFYING. What is Singapore math? What’s a tick bird? I’m not a 3rd grade drop-out like Hilary, but my unused bachelor’s degree in design has not prepared me for any of this. According to the internet, Singapore math is similar to Common Core. What the hell is Common Core?! Can I use a calculator for that? Maybe the tick bird can help me. All I have to do is find a rhino, apparently.
Hilary shouldn’t be too afraid of next year, even if she never had the traditional 3rd grade experience. Because I’m sure she will be able to help Luca in her own special way. I don’t know what a Mickey Mouse-sanctioned education looks like, but I’m sure Hilary can solve problems like, “If Minnie, Donald, and Goofy take 10 minutes each to walk in a straight line to Tomorrow Land, how much fun will they have when they get there?” At the very least, she’s got to be a pro at geometry. You don’t spend hours drawing perfect invisible mouse ears without inevitably learning how to mentally calculate the circumference and radius.
Pic: Wenn.com