Open Post: Hosted By Billie Eilish’s Ring Getting Snatched Right Off Her Finger During A Performance
When a popular musical artiste goes into the crowd, they risk getting their weave jacked-up as they’re pulled into the crazy (like Beyonce was), or worse, they cringe themselves inside/out from getting a way-too-close view of Taylor Swift dancing to one of their songs like a constipated giraffe with arthritis who took the wrong kind of molly. Or if you’re 17-year-old Billie Eilish, you run the risk of some skilled thief managing to slip off your ring past your finger and 22-inch long Monster Energy Drink talons.
While dressed like the member of the Garbage Pail Kids NBA team and looking like Slimer just barfed on her head while flying by, Billie Eilish (FYI: For you olds, “Billie Eilish” is Gen-Z for “Fiona Apple“) was performing at the Austin City Limits Musical Festival in Texas over the weekend when she decided to get up close to her fans. Now, as someone who gets the icks from a stranger hugging or touching me without asking (“Oh, but you’ll get naked with some dude you met on Grindr two seconds ago, tramp?!” – you), this clip is my nightmare since the crowd gets all Night of the Living Dead on Billie by grabbing all over her.
Luckily, Billie made it back to the stage alive, but she noticed that one of her rings was missing from her finger. But unlike the time she found out on Howard Stern about how she was made, she wasn’t that bothered:
“Somebody stole my fucking ring. I guess that’s my fault. Keep that shit. Take care of that shit.”
Billie missed her ring for all of two seconds even as the audience chanted to give that shit back.
— Tbird 🦋 (@Tbird_th98) October 13, 2019
Sure, the ring could’ve slid off of Billie’s finger and hit the ground as all those crazies grabbed at her, but someone could’ve stolen it too and she’s obviously not mad. But she should’ve at least pretended she was. Because you know how when you say, “Blood Mary,” three times into a mirror, Bloody Mary shows up? Well, when you get something stolen and shrug while saying, “Keep that shit,” Ginger Lindsay slides into your DMs to hang out. Dear Billie Eilish’s parents, activate those Twitter parental controls now before it’s too late!