Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Floyd, the 190-pound Mastiff who was so over hiking that he needed to be rescued!

Kato, a Great Pyrenees from Colorado, became a HSOTM finalist for June, because like many of us, he was cruelly dragged into the outside by his humans and forced to do the disgusting and laborious act of hiking in nature. But also like us, Kato’s legs immediately turned to the off position and he couldn’t make it anymore, so dude had to be rescued. Well, meet Floyd, who was also cruelly dragged into the outside by his human, and left the wild on a stretcher. Oh, Floyd, if in that picture you’re saying to us, “Can you believe this bitch forced me to hike and only brought a little thing of water and ONE damn granola bar for us,” then I’ve been there.

BuzzFeed News says that 3-year-old Floyd and his human went for a hike on Grandeur Peak trail in Salt Lake County, UT, and it was supposed to be a 3-hour hike, but it turned out to be longer because Floyd had it and couldn’t go further. Floyd and his human were stuck on the trail, and he could only walk a little bit at a time, because his poor paws were cut up and a mess. Several hikers ran into busted-up Floyd, and called for help as soon as they got to an area with cell phone reception. Help was called and two teams of five volunteer rescuers showed up to save Floyd. Floyd’s human says he was shocked to see them, because he had no idea that someone called 911, and thought he was going to spend the night with Floyd. Um, I don’t think they’d make it through the night, and not because mountain lions would get their asses, or whatever. But because Floyd would probably eat his human for two reasons: 1. He hungry. 2. He’s mad at his human for making him sleep on the outside and taking him hiking!

The rescue teams brought a wheeled stretcher with them, but since Floyd is 190 pounds of love, one of the wheels broke. So, as their muscles scream-sang, WHY GOD, WHY from Miss Saigon, they carried Floyd, like the majestic royal bitch he is, all the way down the mountain. Get into this down-and-out regalness that is just like Cleopatra making her way across the Nile!

What I’m getting from this is that the next time I decide to go hiking, for some weird strange reason, I’m going to bring along a Mastiff costume. Because when I get tired of hiking (read: about 3 minutes in), I’ll put on my Mastiff costume, and sit there and wait until rescuers come and carry me out on a bed.

Pic: Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Search And Rescue

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