Tekashi 69 Just Landed A $10 Million Record Deal

I know McGruff the Crime Dog didn’t work himself into the ground, hitting the pavement each and every godforsaken day of his life to try to teach these fucking kids a lesson about the perils of crime only to be DISRESPECTED by The Painted Goblin of Clown Town! Yet here we are. The Shadow warned America way back in the 1930s that “crime doesn’t pay”. Turns out, that was complete and utter bullshit. TMZ reports that Tekashi 69, who is currently facing racketeering charges, and previously pleaded guilty to the use of a child in a sexual act, and whose entire existence could be considered a crime against humanity, has just been handed a $10 million recording contract. I’ll give you a minute to go bandage your hand after punching your computer screen just now.

It’s going to be OK. After his legendary snitch-fest in which he named just about every Blood in Bloodsville while earning himself a plea deal for testifying against his former crew, I’d be very surprised if he lives long enough to fulfill it. Especially considering he declined witness protection, WITH THAT FACE.

According to TMZ:

Sources close to Tekashi tell TMZ … he just cut a record deal worth more than $10 million with his former label — 10K Projects.

Once 6ix9ine’s a free man, our sources say he’ll get the money in return for putting out 2 albums … one in English and one in Spanish.

This kid is delusional. But then again, so apparently is 10K Projects.

We broke the story … Tekashi seems to believe him testifying against his old gang members will be forgotten once he’s released from prison, and he — and his tracks — will be more popular than ever.

His former label apparently agrees, and is willing to take the risk not just on Tekashi being right … but on the judge handing him a light sentence.

While it might be true that under certain circumstances, crime actually does pay, the adage that a fool and his money are soon parted still rings true. As does the truest adage of them all, that nothing is certain except for death and taxes. TMZ says that the two men Tekashi testified against, Anthony “Harv” Ellison and Aljermiah “Nuke” Mack, were just found guilty of a wide variety of charges including racketeering, conspiracy, narcotics trafficking, and in Harv’s case, kidnapping in the aid of racketeering, none of which bodes well for Tekashi’s ongoing health and well being.

Pic: Instagram