Miley Cyrus has had a busy few months. She ended the marriage with a guy she’d been dating for over 10 years on and off. Then she immediately followed that up with a hot new chick, making out all around Italy and almost shaking up together. She ended that relationship too since only dogs are reliable for love it seems. But you know what you CAN count on a human person for? Making out. And she was then once again busy making out with a different guy. (So much for being single!) For Miley Cyrus, Hot Girl Summer is forever.
So with all this hot and heavy tonsil hockey, it’s actually no surprise that eventually that shit took a toll. And Miley finally had to put the making out on pause so she could get her whole ass tonsils removed.
Miley’s love for kissing has caught up with her. After breaking things off with Liam Hemsworth, and then also breaking things off with Kaitlynn Carter, Miley has started making out with Cody Simpson, because who doesn’t love to make out? Speaking as someone who had their first sexual experience (including making out) at age 22, I’m not gonna tell you to slow down. Hot Girl Summer! But alas, there are physical limitations. I guess Cody’s mouth skills were the straw that broke the camel’s back–or in this case tonsil’s–because she had to check herself in for medical attention of the throat and mouth variety.
Miley posted to Instagram to let us all know that her tonsils are tired y’all! So tired they just plum gave out! She may be on a medical time out on kissing, but she can still take a selfie!
Cody also dropped by to sing to her because I guess he thinks he’s a contestant on The Bachelorette?
I hate when people say: “I’m not crying, you’re crying,” because I never am and it makes me feel dead inside. So rude.
Miley was anxious in the hospital because she’s got a hot weekend planned at Gorillapalooza–where she’ll make out with Poison Ivy in a gorilla suit. No! I’m kidding! It’s Ellen Degeneres’ charity event happening this weekend at the Hollywood Palladium. This “exclusive event” raises money for The Ellen Fund, which supports global conservation efforts for endangered species. Since it’s so exclusive I guess only her close anti-gay President friends will be in attendance.
Best wishes to Miley, I’m sure she’ll be back to yodel-wailing into a microphone, sticking her tongue down her boy toy’s throat and wandering the desert in no time. But for real can we talk about this hospital for one second? This hospital needs to be sued for negligence since they clearly didn’t perform the life-saving measures needed to fix her bangs.