Stacey Dash Says Her Recent Domestic Abuse Arrest Is Normal Married Couple Stuff

Stacey Dash is claiming that her recent time in the clink for domestic battery was a result of a “martial spat that escalated” and it happens to normal couples…Huh?!…I know Stacey lives in Florida land of horny alligators and home to Michael Lohan and Crystal Methheneny so there’s a conflated sense of normal, but let’s be real clear that getting arrested for domestic violence and claiming that children are conspiring against you is never normal couple shit. Even in Florida. Even in Central Florida.
Here’s what she said via People
“Like normal married couples my husband and I had a martial dispute that escalated,” she tweeted on Sunday. “Thank you for your support and love. Please give him the same.”
In a statement previously obtained by PEOPLE, Dash said she and her husband “had a marital dispute in their Tampa, FL suburb” and that police did arrive at their home on September 29.
“No charges were pressed by her husband, however, Deputies arrested Ms. Dash peacefully, as a formality,” the statement read. “Ms. Dash’s husband appeared in court today, September 30th, on her behalf and Ms. Dash was released from the Land O’ Lakes detention facility. No further legal action is pending.”
Stacey Dash was at the Land O’ Lakes detention center?! Are they churning butter in the prison yard?! Weird. It’s also weird (and sad given her statements about past abusive relationships) that she thinks this is normal behavior. I’ve been married a few years and nothing like this has ever happened, though I do fantasize about slapping my husband across the face while yelling, “I AM THE QUEEN!”
The charges against Stacey were dropped after prosecutors decided that there was not enough evidence to prosecute her. Stacey’s husband Jeffrey Marty, the one she was accused of attacking, is also standing by her and they’re working things out. Stacey celebrated not getting charged by bringing Jesus into it:
Stacey needs a lot of help besides Jesus, like the ghost of Brittany Murphy, and Alicia Silverstone (if Alicia can take a minute from her unsweetened oat milk at Starbucks activism). I mean, they can at least guide Stacey to a dictionary to show her the definition of “normal.”
Pic: Wenn.com