Who Is September’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

October 7, 2019 / Posted by:

Try to remember the kind of September when Avon Bubble bath, a dick-nosed pussy, a criminal cholita blossom, and a deer savior were all HSOTM finalists. I’m pretty sure that’s how the song goes. For September’s HSOTM pageant, we’ve got an important bathtub artifact from the 80s, a cat who was gifted by God with a nose that looks like a short fat white dick, Dr. Frank N. Furter’s third cousin twice removed at the Sharpie aisle, and a two-time Captain Save-A-Doe.

Like every month, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth was picked by me. Your choices are:

Avon Soft Pink Bubble Bath, The Avon bubble bath from the 80s (I do not acknowledge that stranger bitch Avon bubble bath of today) that smelled like your memaw’s farts and came in a bottle that doubled as a ribbed dildo (it did, right)?

Daisy the Dick-Nosed Cat, the shelter cat from Australia who had trouble finding a home, all because people couldn’t take her nose looking like a furry dick. She has since found a forever home, and yes, we’re very happy together (I wish!).

Heather Garcia, the delicate cholita blossom who was arrested for pretending to be her daughter (and other charges and warrants) and caused us all to choke on the Sharpie-infused Evil Queen-on-roids glamour wafting off of her perfectly painted face in her mug shot.

Save A Doe Chlo, the deer savior (real name: Chloe Dorsey) who became a hero to all Bambis when she saved a deer stuck in a fence twice and gave us the show of the year while doing so.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned next Monday, October 14th!

Pics: Reddit, Facebook, Davis County Jail, Instagram

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