Open Post: Hosted By A Kitty Doing An Impersonation Of You At The Coffee Maker In The Morning

If you’re like me, then your first big battle in the morning begins when you wake up and touch your fingers together, hoping that the alien gods took pity upon you overnight and gave you that Out of This World power of stopping time so you could sleep longer. Then, you brush away the wrappers of the fun-size Snickers you used to eat your feelings the night before, get out of bed, do a quick first-of-the-day piss, and make your way to the coffee maker, where you add in all the ingredients before screaming at that slow trick to stop playing and spit out your day fuel from heaven already. Well, Kiara the kitten feels your pain, only she never gets a drop of that day fuel from heaven.

In a video posted to the world by Kiara’s human, she writes in the caption that nearly every morning, Kiara cries and paws for her coffee like me at my friend’s cocktail when I’ve finished mine and the bar is closed:

“The video is taken in the morning when I woke up and needed a cup of coffee. My kitten Kiara always tries to drink the foam of my coffee and screams at me when I don’t give it to her. She tries to take the coffee away from you with her little claws. That’s pretty much our morning routine.”

Here’s the video that might make dogs cackle with glee since it shows a poor puss in pain and confusion!

If you’re about to call the animal police on Kiara’s human for torturing that kitten for social media content, then you should know that coffee is to cats what salad sans dressing is to me. It’ll make them sick! And it might be cute now, but wait until Kiara gets full grown. She’s not going to pull this delicate paw-ing shit. She’s going to get that coffee by gnawing her human’s hand off. Actually, that’s not true. She’ll just pull out a chainsaw and catch that coffee cup as her human runs off. She’s not going to dirty up her mouth.

Pic: YouTube