What Better Way To Spend Your Wedding Night Than Drunkenly Brawling With The Cops?
In It’s-Not-Just-Florida-News: a newlywed couple in Arizona have been arrested and charged for assaulting police officers during a brawl between cops and their wedding guests. In Florida they call that a “June Weddin’ In July”. Just kidding, but they probably do have a name for it. Friday Night?
AZCentral says that 32-year-old Eric Cordova and 30-year-old Ashley Jordan had a wedding to remember! But in the bad way where they got arrested at the end and will have to show up to court later on for a variety of follow-up legal proceedings. Wedding gift from Hell, amirite?
So here’s the story. Around 9:30 on Saturday night, Prescott police got called about some drunk lady on the appropriately-named, Whiskey Row. Officers showed up to the call of “a woman in a wedding dress” who was “trying to assault an employee of a local business”. Ashley was that woman. Officers found her a bit down the street and went up to her. But like any good husband, Eric stepped in to intervene. No one was going to arrest his new wife on their wedding night!
Well that did happen. But not before a fight with police. Eric reportedly got aggressive and as they tried to restrain him, he and and an officer fell to the ground. Here’s what happened next:
“Several other members of the wedding party got involved in the struggle, police said. The group continued their assault on the officers, and during the confrontation, Jordan pushed and struck an officer in the face with her hand, police said.”
Listen, the couple who scraps together, stays together. If my new husband isn’t helping me get into a brawl with armed law enforcement on our wedding night, I don’t want him! The two officers involved in the brawl sustained minor injuries.
The couple was booked into Yavapai County jail on charges of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct. But they weren’t the only ones. Guests, 31-year-old Dustin Trout, and 25-year-old Amos Puckett, also got arrested! They were booked on charges of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct, and obstruction of justice. And because it was a brawl, two more wedding guests were cited and released on charges of disorderly conduct. They were lucky enough not to be identified so their employers aren’t getting Google notifications about this.
This is truly a love story meant for the sunny beaches of elegant Florida–this public fuckery is really their specialty. I think the only way it could be more on-brand would be if a random lizard fell out of Ashley’s wedding dress and bit the cops.
Pic: Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office