Are you a lady who dreams of butterflies in your stomach as you stare into Ansel Elgort’s eyes, but without the risk of it leading to a sweaty Ansel asking “Yo girl, pass me a kleenex?” from the left side of a floor-based mattress? Well are you ever in luck, because Ansel Elgort is looking for non-sexual love. The only thing is, he’s also currently in love with his high school sweetheart, Violetta Komyshan. But Ansel has a solution, and it involves non-sexual polyamory.
You might be confusing Ansel with current face of swinging – sorry The Lifestyle – Thomas Middleditch. But this is very different, because technically there’s no sex going on. Ansel recently revealed his interest for some outside love during an interview with The Times (via E! News) by saying:
“I’d also like to find a lot more love. It doesn’t need to be sexual. I could be done sexually with my girlfriend. I think we’ve been pretty clear that I want to feel free to fall in love with people and that [option] should be open, but sexually it can be closed off.”
To make this situation even more random, Ansel’s search for additional love was inspired by his platonic, non-sexual love for his favorite bros, and his onscreen sister Shailene Woodley.
“I’m in love with a bunch of my male friends who I’m not interested in having sex with, so why can’t I put the desire to have sex with women aside and let myself have love with women? I love Shailene Woodley and we never had anything sexual and that was great. There will probably be some sort of chemical thing at some point that you can’t help, but you just have to be disciplined and not be a fuck. We’re primitive beings.”
Lest you think Ansel is outing himself as some kind of non-sexual pansexual type, he has mentioned in the past that he is very, very hetero. And he really loves Violetta. When they broke up for five months in 2014, Ansel says:
“I knew something was missing, and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s love.'”
But what Ansel is talking about doesn’t really have a term, at least I don’t think it does. He’s basically saying he loves his guy friends, and wants to start loving girls in the same way, but he’s really only interested in banging his girlfriend, and even that could be touch-and-go in the future. I think if I were responsible for making up a name for what Ansel is, I’d say he’s a bifriend. He’s a boyfriend who wants to be friends with both guys and girls. With just a splash of boredfriend, which is when your boyfriend gets bored and would rather play video games than have sex. One thing is for sure, and that’s that Ansel seems pretty confident that girls will want to hang out with him in a friends-without-benefits situation. Ansel is in for a rude awakening the first time he invites some girl over to listen to his latest song, and about 30 seconds in she asks, “So…can we hook up or something? Because I don’t think I can take much more of this.”