Night Crumbs

September 24, 2019 / Posted by:

Shia LaBeouf told a story on the Hot Ones about the time that Tom Hardly wrestled him while he was b-hole-out naked. My nipples should get hard at the thought of Tom Hardy wrestling a naked dude, but I’m too busy wondering how Tom was able to handle Shia’s naked body without his hands slipping and sliding from all the dirty armpit jelly, grease, dick cheese, and butt butter. Okay, my nipples are hard now – Towleroad

Gigi Hadid probably dumped that Bachelorette dude, but don’t eye-burp out tears for him, because I’m sure he’ll go on to find everlasting pure love (or an STD) on the next season of Bachelor in ParadiseLainey Gossip 

Jenna Dewan and her bearded Broadway daddy made a baby that I’m sure is going to come jazz walking out of the womb – Celebitchy

It’s great that doing bootleg John Turturro drag is working for Adam Sandler’s career, but I’m mad that Uncut Gems isn’t a riveting documentary about the glory of uncircumcised dick – Pajiba

Ariel Winter kept it demure in red (served on a plate of zero sarcasm) at an Emmys after-party – Popoholic

It looks like Cynthia Bailey of The Real Housewives of Atlanta got out of the Peter Thomas game at the right moment – Reality Tea 

Who knew that Keira Knightley was a fan of velvet-voiced radio nightingale Duuuuuh-liiiiiie-luh? – MSN

Mr. Wonderful’s life is not so wonderful right now, because his wife Linda O’Leary was charged in the boat crash that took two lives – Just Jared

Jennifer Garner should’ve kept this look, honestly – SOW

Don’t you just hate it when you’re taking a casual not-staged walk through the park while dressed like a discount Cher on vacation in the 70s and the paparazzi catch you? – Drunken Stepfather

I need to see a bubble butt bottom-off between Nightwing and Henry Cavill as SupermanOMG Blog

Pic: YouTube

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