Zooey Deschanel and the toolbelt-wearing Property Brother are going to want to take a seat for the time being, because they’re no longer the most random couple at the moment. Entertainment Tonight says that real-life Twin Peaks character Lana Del Rey pulled a Miranda Lambert and has hooked up with a cop.
34-year-old Lana Del Rey’s dating picks usually fall within the parameters of the music industry. So this is a departure. Although to be fair, going unconventional is very on brand for her (her brand being apathetic trust fund witch). And if I had to guess what’s the opposite of Lana Del Rey, I’d probably go with cop, or possibly uptight zookeeper. However, Lana’s cop boyfriend isn’t fully outside of the entertainment industry. ET says her rumored boyfriend is 46-year-old Sgt. Sean “Sticks” Larkin from the A&E show Live PD. Okay come on, a reality TV cop sounds like something you’d get while playing Dating Mad Libs. But according to sources, it’s real and they’re dating.
Lana and Sticks were seen hanging out in Central Park yesterday, which cased Entertainment Tonight to wonder what was up.
Lana Del Rey out in NYC pic.twitter.com/YkB0YpFtSo
— Lana Del Rey Fans (@LanaDelReyFans) September 24, 2019
Neither Lana, nor Sticks, have officially confirmed they’re dating.
Even though he appears as a cop on TV (on Live PD, Live PD Presents Police Cam, and Live Rescue), Sticks is still very much a real Police Sergeant (he works for the Tulsa Police Department). He’s also got muscles:
And he’s got a twangy lil’ Okie accent too:
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For those wondering how he got that nickname, Sticks explained during a SiriusXM interview back in March, that he got it after tackling a suspect. His Captain allegedly told him he couldn’t apprehend a suspect like that, and called him a “fuck stick.” But Sticks says that no one in his personal life calls him Sticks. Well, that’s about to change. Because if this thing lasts long enough, Lana will probably start writing songs about her him. And you know she’s just dying for a lyric about stirring her Pepsi-Cola pussy with his fuck stick. I also look forward to how many cop metaphors she’s able to squeeze into the chorus of one of her torch songs.
Throw me in the back seat
But don’t protect my head when you put me in
Take my finger prints
I’ve been a bad girl, turn on the sirens
Read me my rights when you catch me doing wrong
Eat me up like the last cruller in the donut booooooooooox