Open Post: Hosted By This Guy Trying To Steal An SUV From Inside A Mall

September 21, 2019 / Posted by:

CBS2 Chicago presents us with this Twitter vid of some dumbass trying to drive away with an SUV that wasn’t his yesterday. From INSIDE the Woodfield Mall. Look, I’d like to see a car driven through one of those mid-aisle kiosks where the dudes are always bugging people to buy their hand creme or remote control toy turtles as much as the next consumer but – DANGER, man, DANGER.

Here’s the clip:

The dude drove the ride out of the entrance to a Sears store and then into the mall. His motives appear to have been selfish as opposed to shitty religious ideals. Oh, good, the man that was probably forced to crash through the Disney Store’s front window to evade being run over must have thought – at least it’s not terrorism!

Schaumburg police have one person in custody but are not releasing his name until charges, if any, are authorized. There is no indication the incident is related to terrorism or that the man was working with anyone else, but police would not comment on a possible motive. Police said there was no indication the driver was angry or had any reason to target the mall, but he was walking in the mall before the incident.

My namesake saved everyone’s life probably because of his cool first name.

A witness, Jason, was ordering ice cream when he saw the car only a few feet away, moving erratically. He told his wife to get into the nearby Starbucks, and he ran to the SUV, which had crashed into a pole. He opened the door and took the keys out of the ignition.

There were reports of some minor injuries.

You’d think a racing SUV would fuck more shit up! Hell, I’ve seen grandmas driving Larks wreak more havoc.

Pic: Twitter

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