Celine Dion is ready to roll out the red carpet for Drake, inviting him over to her house for dinner, offering to take him out for drinks, suggesting they sing a duet together, really just about anything he wants as long as he promises to keep her face off his body. Celine recently did an interview with iHeart Radio Canada and promised she’d do just about anything in the world short of looking at his “erotic watch”, to convince him not to get a tattoo of her on his body. And who could blame her! I don’t think I could sleep at night knowing my face was sweating out Drake sweat on the regular.
Drake’s been threatening Celine with the possibility of a tattoo since at least 2017 when he mentioned it to her in person at the Billboard Music Awards, according to Complex. At the time, he told her she was iconic and that he’s “like, a year away from a Celine tat” at which point Celine should have renounced her Canadian citizenship and ended her career by becoming a perpetual contestant on The Masked Singer with the hope he’d forget what she looks like.
Since the time has already elapsed on Drake’s Celine tattoo doomsday clock, I guess she decided to kick her avoidance plan into high gear.
“Please, Drake, I love you very much,” Dion said during an interview with iHeartRadio Canada. “Can I tell you something: Don’t do that. You can write me love letters, you can send me autographs for my kids, you can come and visit. I can have you home for lunch or dinner… we can go for a drink. We can sing together. Whatever you want to do. I can talk to your mother. Whatever you want, but please.”
Celine went on to explain how aging works. She’s already going to have to watch her actual face start to sag and elongate, so she certainly doesn’t want to have to see the process occur on Drake’s left asscheek.
“This is not the money maker over here first of all,” Dion said in reference to her face. “As you go older—you too when the time comes—my face will go longer and it will go no prettier. So please don’t tattoo it. If you do it, just do a face* one so you can change your mind.”
*Ok, so Complex totally mis-transcribed that sentence. In the video she clearly says “just do a FAKE one” but now I’m obsessed with the idea of Drake getting a tattoo of Celine’s face, on his own face, but like covering his entire face. Now that’s a face tattoo I could get behind!