Rolling Stone says we’ve officially reached a new threshold in the point of human existence where we cannot let the dead have even a moment of rest, as Whitney Houston–who passed away in 2012–is going on a full tour. Well, some refracted light machines mimicking her likeness will be going on tour–the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Whitney’s Hologram has announced a 2020 schedule, so get your Ouija Boards ready: it’s time for a tour!
“An Evening With Whitney” kicks off its haunting comeback-tour-of-all-comeback-tours on January 23rd, 2020. You will not need a spellbook nor will you require varying kinds of holy objects to ward away any spirits caught up in the summonings, as this tour is going to be completely séance-free. It starts in Mexico, hits up Europe and then wraps four months later April 3rd in Minsk, Belarus. North America will get a taste of the haunted/computerized-life when Whitney officially announces her tentative fall 2020 plans.
Of course the late singer’s estate is in on this monstrosity, because the people who are still associated with Whitney usually give her image the respect it deserves. It’s also being done with BASE Hologram:
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We are pleased to announce An Evening With Whitney: The @whitneyhouston Hologram Tour in partnership with the Estate of Whitney E. Houston! Whitney’s UK fans will be the first to experience this iconic and awe-inspiring mixed media performance. European dates to follow! Tickets for the UK dates go on sale this Friday 9/20 at 9AM BST. Link in bio ✨🎤✨
This is how Pat Houston, Whitney’s former Manager and the current President of her estate, explains the show:
“A hologram show is all about the imagination and creating a ‘wow factor’ that extends to an incredible experience to enjoy for years to come, Whitney is not with us but her music will live with us forever. We know we made the right decision partnering with BASE because they understand how important it is to produce a phenomenal hologram. They also know that engaging her fans with an authentic Whitney experience would resonate worldwide because of the iconic status that she created over three decades. Her fans deserve nothing less because she gave nothing less than her best.”
Listen, what I wanna know is, is Hologram Whitney going to do the “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” original mix or the remix? I’m not going to this mess concert no-how but remix is the only acceptable answer. I actually would prefer performing a séance and waking a spirit to watching Whitney get bastardized by some sparkling light show! But it’s fine, Whitney’s heavenly-bound spirit will just use her harmonic cloud-songs to shut off power at the show Nicki Minaj-style. Sure, some will work out, but the chances of a fully choreographed light show going off without a hitch four months in a row? Not likely. Whitney gets the last laugh. “It’s Not Right, And It’s NOT Okay.”