In Case You Missed This Neon Messiness (I’m Sorry)

As expected, Sean Spicer showed us last night on Dancing For Attention And A Check that being a good/angry liar does not translate into being a good/happy dancer. The costume designer is doing the devil’s work (or is it the lord’s work?), because they made Sean look like a manic bullfighter from HELL who put on a bootleg Seinfeld pirate shirt before getting pissed on by Slimer.

Luckily Sean didn’t stop embarrassing himself with just the costume, he also danced. You know Tom Bergeron was giving his best “told you so” look. And even Karamo Brown is pulling an “I don’t know her“ after this mess of a performance.

According to The Daily Beast:

Despite its best efforts, America could not shame Sean Spicer out of joining Dancing with the Stars. So there was the former White House press secretary on the ABC reality show’s 28th season premiere on Monday night, wearing a frilly yellow shirt that evoked Big Bird and a pair of tight-fitting white pants.

It didn’t get any better after that.

Sean Spicer attacked the Spice Girls by “dancing” to “Spice Up Your Life” and the judges had a lot of choice words and concerns after his number.

When it came time to dance, Spicer banged some bongos and attempted a salsa to The Spice Girls’ “Spice Up Your Life,” ending with an exuberant knee slide.

“What were you doing there?” one of the judges asked when he was done. “It’s like you were being attacked by a swarm of wasps.” The best he could say was that it was “strangely entertaining.”

“You were off-beat most of the dance,” another added. “But you had fun!” The team ended up getting a total score of 12 out of 30 for the night, just barely beating Lamar Odom, who ended up with 11.

So he beat out Lamar Odom. You know the guy who was was basically dead for a minute, so I guess that’s something.

Sean Spicer did admit that going on DWTS wasn’t part of his plan.

“This wasn’t part of the plan,” Spicer told The New Yorker this week. “Frankly, I’m just making money, trying to enjoy life.” He will reportedly earn a minimum of $125,000 to appear on the show. Even host Tom Bergeron has expressed his displeasure with the casting.

Umm, it wasn’t part of anyone’s plan. No one wanted this.

But here we are, and I have a feeling that this is going to take a Sanjaya from American Idol turn and idiots will vote for this mess only to continue to watch the train wreck. And of course, no offense to Sanjaya.

Sean Spicer also tried to bring Jesus into this mess:

“Those who stand for Christ”

The ever-pathetic @seanspicer trying to turn his bad dancing into some kind of symbol of Christ’s message. Nope. Nope. No. https://t.co/cke73TO5AT

— Soledad O’Brien (@soledadobrien) September 17, 2019

Let’s all hope Jesus has more important things to do than this. But if Jesus is watching Dancing With The Stars, I hope he votes for Kate Flannery.

Here’s the second least humiliating job that Sean Spicer has had so far:

Pic: YouTube