USA Today says that one woman’s #EngagedLife fantasy careened to a halt when she woke up one morning and realized that she had swallowed her whole ass diamond engagement ring in a dream-induced haze. Some people sleep walk, some talk: this woman likes to eat diamonds. Expensive taste has a whole new literal meaning.
29-year-old Jenna Evans woke up one morning from a dream and found herself in a nightmare. (I had to say that. It was just right there, waiting.) Jenna apparently has vivid dreams, and during one of her sleeps, she swallowed her ring as part of the fantastical narrative running around her semi-sleeping brain. Jenna realized what she had done and sort of came to, but thought it was just a dream, and fell back asleep. The next morning, she woke up and discovered her ring was missing. That’s when she realized her dream wasn’t just a dream. Jenna had to tell her fiancé Bobby Howell why his hard-earned money was now in her stomach:
“So, in case you missed it, I swallowed my engagement ring in my sleep on Tuesday night. I actually remember doing it, but I thought I was dreaming, so I went back to sleep. On Wednesday morning, I realized my ring was not on my hand and had to wake [my fiancé] and tell him that I swallowed my engagement ring. I don’t think he believed me right away. We laughed pretty hard for about an hour and a half, called my mom, laughed until we were crying…
I went to urgent care where I struggled to explain why I was there, because I was laughing/crying so hard. The doctor ordered an Xray and seemed pretty shocked when she walked back in with a second doctor and showed me that sure enough, my ring was right there in my stomach! They called a gastroenterologist and decided it would be best NOT to let nature take its course. (Thank God) Before I left, she recommended seeing a sleep specialist as well.
Bobby took me to the GI doctor where I got to tell a whole new group of doctors and nurses that yes, I swallowed my engagement ring. At this point, I could definitely feel it in my guts, it was starting to really hurt and make us nervous. They decided an upper endoscopy was just the thing and said don’t worry its not big deal, but please sign this release form just in case you die.
Then I cried a lot because I would be SO MAD if I died. I waited a long time for that damn engagement ring and I WILL marry Bobby Howell DAMNIT.
…Bobby finally gave my ring back this morning – I promised not to swallow it again, we’re still getting married and all is right in the world.
Update: for inquiring minds, I was having a dream that Bobby and I were in a very sketchy situation involving a high speed train and bad guys (I have very exciting and vivid dreams) and he told me I had to swallow my ring to protect it; so I popped that sucker off, put it in my mouth and swallowed it with a glass of water riiiight about the time I realized what I was doing. I assumed this too was a dream, because WHO ACTUALLY SWALLOWS THEIR ENGAGEMENT RING, so I went back to sleep…
Ring is lovingly made by Simone Jewelry Designs in Houston, Tx. Jewels so lovely, you could eat them. But don’t–trust me on this.”
Listen, I may be as crazy as this woman, but I totally guessed that her dream was going to involve her needing to protect the ring by swallowing it. I just knew it! In my mind there is no other reason to swallow jewelry. Either you’re protecting it or you’re smuggling it, and Jenna doesn’t come off as a smuggler to me. Meanwhile that Simone Jewelry Designs must be thanking Jenna’s sleep-issues because this is the kind of promo money can’t buy! I need to see an ad campaign with Simone diamonds as food products. Sell those tasty diamonds, Simone!
Here’s Jenna’s full post with pictures: