Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Trooper Patti!

There’s an old retired man in my mom’s neighborhood, where the speed limit is 25mph, who has anointed himself as Officer Catch-A-Speeding-Bitch and spends a huge chunk of the day sitting in his front yard on a plastic lawn chair to catch illegal speeders and threaten to turn them in. That dude is responsible for many of my mom’s neighbors running to their doctor with a sprained eye-rolling-muscle, because they’ve all rolled their eyes at him saying he doesn’t have one of those speed detector thingees. Dude can tell they’re speeding just by looking at their tires. Well, if Officer Catch-A-Speeding-Bitch wants to be taken seriously in his jurisdiction, he needs to pull a brilliant move like Trooper Patti pulled and aim a highly-accurate radar gun at speeders. And by “highly-accurate radar gun,” I mean an unplugged blow dryer.

KRTV says that people drive a mess on South Finley Point in Finley Point, Montana, so one hero named Patti Baumgartner has taken it upon herself to curb the speeding. Patti tells KRVT that her neighbors are afraid to go for a walk or ride their bikes because of speeders. After brainstorming ways to slow people down, Patti and her neighbors came up with a genius idea:

“We were talking about maybe something would slow the cars down. So we decided to put me in a chair and I guess use the hair dryer as a speed thing.”

So don’t even think of hitting your gas pedal beyond the speed limit on South Finley Point, because Patti is watching you and will clock you with her radar gun, which seems to always clock drivers as going #48975FW9800 (aka the blow dryer’s serial number) per mile.

The internet fell in love with Patti after her son Timmy tweeted pictures of her sitting in her squad car (a lawn chair) while holding her Clairol radar gun in one hand, and a refreshing beverage in the other. Patti needs to keep her vocal cords lubricated for when she needs to yell “CITIZEN’S ARREST!” at a speed demon.

But Patti can now upgrade her “CITIZEN’S ARREST!” call to an “HONORARY TROOPER ARREST!” call. Montana Highway Patrol trooper Noah Pesola, who was tagged in the tweet, decided to make Patti an honorary trooper for getting creative with her mission to slow down speeders.

“It’s not an official or anything like that for the honorary trooper, which is kind of what I called it.  I didn’t know what else to do for her, when she’s doing something for the community, and like she says, she’s got grandkids in the area so she’s doing something for her grandkids’ benefits. The best thing I could think of was give her a trooper hat and a badge to make her look a little more official.”

Speeders better really watch it, because Trooper Patti’s got a little hat and a sticker badge now:

Would I want to spend my time risking my life by sitting on the side of a road while doing hard labor by holding up a blow dryer? No (although, I have been known to give a different kind of blow job by the side of the road), but Trooper Patti is better than me and trying to save lives! Although, Trooper Patti may want to invest in an extension cord. That way she can make a few extra coins by using her radar gun to blow dry hair in between catching speeders! Super Trooper Patti’s Roadside Highway Patrol Kiosk/Dry Bar: She’ll bust you and beautify you!

Pic: Twitter

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