Tanya McDowell is the black mother who was convicted of larceny charges related to sending her kid to the wrong school district, while they were homeless, and was sentenced to 5 years. Well, if Tonya wanted to avoid that sentence she should’ve been born a famous white millionaire actress named Felicity Huffman, because Felicity will spend no more than two weeks in the clink for using her sofa change ($15,000) to buy her daughter a better SAT score to get into a fancier college.
Prosecutors wanted the judge to give Felicity one month in prison, one year probation, 250 hours of community service, and a $20,000 fine. Felicity’s lawyers thought she should get a total of zero hours in prison because she didn’t hurt anyone. NBC News says that the judge pretty much met both of those recommendations in the middle and sentenced her to 14 days. Felicity also has to pay a $30,000 fine, do 250 hours of community service, and she’ll be on supervised release for a year.
Felicity took a plea deal, plead guilty, and admitted she did something wrong, but said she thought she was being a good mother by getting her daughter’s SAT scores fixed. Err, whatever white collar prison Felicity is going to should not let her to teach a course on How To Be A Good Mother.
Taking the plea and admitting her guilt worked in her favor, because U.S. District Judge Indira Talwani gave her some credit for that, and also said that she didn’t involve her child and didn’t repeat the crime. But Judge Indira had no choice but to cast her in a real-life reboot of Orange is the New Black.
“This is a system which does not have a pure meritocracy and a person in position of wealth and position you are is in a much easier position in this meritocracy of college admissions,” Talwani said.
“In a system of that sort, in that context, that you took the step of obtaining one more advantage to put your child over theirs.”
The judge said she didn’t relish sending Huffman to prison, but believed it was the right call.
“I don’t think anyone wants to be going to prison, I do think this is the right sentence here,” she said. “You move forward and you can rebuild your life after this. You pay your dues.”
Felicity left court in Boston with William H. Macy today and will have to turn herself in by October 25 to begin serving her time.
The truth is, I’m kind of shocked that Felicity got prison time (which may or may not end up being 14 minutes due to “overcrowding“). So because Felicity got actual prison time, Lori Loughlin and Mossimo, who pleaded not guilty and are going to gamble by going to trial, better start researching how to make La Mer face cream out of commissary items. Actually, they probably can’t do that, because they’re too busy Googling “what countries don’t have an extradition treaty with the U.S.” from the back of a chauffeured SUV making its way to a private airport.