Don’t Even Think Of Pulling Out Your Smuggled-In Cell Phone At Madonna’s Show

September 13, 2019 / Posted by:

In case you’re looking for a Material Top or a Material Bottom on Grindr while watching Madonna hump the stage later this year at DELAYED show residencies, you’re shit out of luck! Madonna, who spent a good chunk of Hamilton texting most likely her latest youngin’ to suck the soul from, will NOT be ignored. No, that doesn’t mean she’s going to use another Aretha Franklin memorial segment to promote herself. Instead, she’s making people check their cell phones AND their dignity when they arrive to her shows this fall.

CBS Los Angeles says attendees, who shelled out for tickets to one of the 11 shows in her L.A. mini-residency, got an email saying the event will be phone-free and that the “use of cellphones, smart watches, smart accessories, cameras or recording devices will not be permitted in the performance space.” Instead, they’ll have to store their devices in a Yondr case kept well away from the stage, lest Madge risk having someone post a FaceTune-free image of her on their Instagram story.

Fear not: there will be a designated phone use area – but you have to fork over the phone before heading back to your seat. Oh, and if Lin Manuel-Miranda wants to pay Madge back for texting during his show, he won’t get sweet revenge. People found using their phones will be immediately kicked out.

In other Madge news, Variety says Live Nation is getting sued for her performance at the Eurovision Song Contest earlier this year in Israel. KAN Israel, the broadcaster, apparently paid for technical support Madonna’s team was supposed to reimburse them for…and then never paid back. She already pissed off organizers after only agreeing to do the show two days before the finale and then having performers with Israeli and Palestinian flags on their backs during the show.

Honestly, Israel should do what Oprah does when she lends friends money and they don’t pay her back: call it an exit fee, call up Gayle King for a girls’ weekend and then make sure you never have to see that money-grabbing, non-Gayle huss again! Everyone wins!


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