Remember how there was that whole “Storm Area 51!” thing going around the internet for a while? Well, some dumbass actually did it. But it wasn’t hundreds of thousands of curious alien-lovers going to Area 51 to rescue whatever alien species they think are locked up there. It was a YouTuber and his friend, and they got arrested because that’s what happens when you trespass on highly-secret government facilities. Who’d of thought? Oh yeah, everyone.
So back in July, a bunch of people signed up for a Facebook event where they planned to storm Area 51, claiming that “they can’t stop us all.” It was clearly a joke because the person who created it said they were going to “Naruto run” past all the security and shit. Obviously the American government is far better armed than a bunch of idiots running at normal speed with their arms held out behind their backs, so that would have turned out poorly for the stormers.
Well, The Daily Beast says that Ties Granzier, a Dutch YouTuber with more than 730,000 subscribers on his channel, decided that he was smarter than everyone else and chose to get into Area 51 solo. He did take one friend, Govert Charles Wilhelmus Jacob Sweep, to watch his back. Things went well for them and they met aliens and learned the secrets to the universe. No, they were arrested.
On Tuesday, 20-year-old Ties and 21-year-old Govert got their asses arrested for trespassing on the Nevada National Security Site close to Area 51. The County Sheriff’s Office received a call about two foreign nationals on the property and found the YouTuber and his friend in a car about three miles into where you’re not allowed to go. They told police they understood and could read English but still ignored the “Do Not Enter” signs. Why? “Because they wanted to look at the facility.” Yup that’s how you get out of trouble.
Police: “Why did you sneak into Beyoncé’s room?”
Me: “I wanted to meet her.”
Police: “Oh, okay: go ahead.”
Ties told the police he was a YouTuber, and the police found cameras and a drone inside the car. They were arrested and booked into the Nye County Detention Center.
Let’s say they did get in and there are actual aliens in there, what then? Did they think the aliens were going to be happy to see them and bust out a Men In Black dance break with them? There would be a “men in black” situation, specifically people wearing black to their funerals after the aliens destroyed them. Because even aliens hate YouTubers, I’m sure.