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September 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Wonder Woman safety scissors from the 70s!

If you’ve ever hard the urge to scissor Wonder Woman, fire up your PayPal and get on over to eBay, because your dreams can come true…. sort of…. not really. Because I wouldn’t recommend scissoring with THIS Wonder Woman unless you’ve got a crotch made of metal.

During the run of the Wonder Woman TV show (from 1975 to 1979), starring thee legendary Lynda Carter, I’m sure that there was Wonder Woman everything from cigarettes (it was the 70s) to cigarettes for children (it was the 70s) to coke spoons (it was the 70s) to coke spoons for children (again, it was the 70s). One Wonder Woman thing that did exist in the 70s was the Wonder Woman safety scissors, which Dlisted reader Abby dropped into my inbox after finding a pair while cleaning stuff out.

While the Wonder Woman safety scissors had a luxurious Breck Girl mane, her face was a cross between Kris Jenner with a good nose job and steamrolled Michael Jackson. But what really made Wonder Woman safety scissors FOR KIDS an art piece from the Museum of Fuckery was that when you wanted to cut something, you’d have to spread her legs so wide that her hip ended up in her armpit. She went through pain so you could cut some stupid construction paper.

That shit is fucked-up, but I’m sure that at this very moment, some nerd is getting moist in the tip from scissoring two WW scissors together.

Pics: eBay, Amazon

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