Open Post: Hosted By Jack In The Box’s Entry Into The Chicken Sandwich Wars

September 10, 2019 / Posted by:

f you have been unaware of our country’s biggest feud (and how dare you?!), take time to learn about the Chicken Sandwich Wars of 2019 as it will surely end up in high school history books. The chicken wars, which was started because of sold-out Popeyes’s chicken sandwich, has caused other fast food chains to jump in. McDonald’s offered up a sad attempt, and now Jack in the Box is getting into the game with a four patty chicken sandwich (with bacon) that the’ve cleverly named The Really Big Chicken Sandwich Quad. It’s huge and people have a lot of questions, most notably; how do you fit in your mouth?! And what the hell is “Swiss style” cheese?

The good people at The Takeout tried to get answers:

On a cloudy morning, I set out to answer those two questions, plus a third: Is this thing any good?

First off, the answer to how you fit such a monstrous sandwich into your mouth is that you mash that sucker into your face with no pretense of dignity and hope for the best. Everything that makes Wendy’s triple cheeseburger more than a mouthful amplified here. There is no way to eat this in a way that looks dignified, so don’t even attempt it.

The answer to the second question lies in the adhesive power of Jack’s Swiss-like cheese substance, a cheese regular Jack’s eaters will recognize as “the white cheese” from the bicolor fromage offerings atop the Ultimate Cheeseburger. These four patties fused together into a sort of Voltron McNugget on steroids all the way to the last bite.

Okay. Sounds fun! But there is a whopping 3,180 milligrams of sodium in this sandwich. To put that into perspective, your recommended daily intake of sodium is 2,300 mg and the American Heart Association is trying to move it closer to 1,500.

There are two flavors that run this show from the very first bite: One, of course, is chicken, and it’s surprisingly moist for all-white meat. I’m not sure whether there’s a wet brine involved or if it’s just grease from the fryer, but it’s notably juicy. The other is a combination of the breading’s robust toasted flavor and a brain-exploding 3,180 milligrams of sodium.

So it’s basically a salty, moist chicken sandwich, that may give you a salt heart attack if you eat two. I mean, there are worse ways to go. I can picture my obit if I ever die eating a fast food sandwich: “Here lies Deirdre, died doing what she loved: eating a second Really Big Chicken Sandwich Quad, alone in her car while talking to no one.”

That said, I’ve watched enough of My 600 Pound Life to know that there is an audience for this, so good luck and god speed to anyone brave enough to eat this. The same goes for your toilet. Speaking of shit, this is what it looks like without Photoshop:

Pic: Jack In The Box

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