Robert Pattinson’s post-Twilight career has almost exclusively featured the kind of movies that get him the best table at the Independent Spirit Awards. But in a strange turn of events, RPattz will be the next Batman. It kind of feels like Robert accidentally dozed off in a meeting with his agent, woke up confused, and signed his way into another cheesy film franchise. Or maybe he had access to a psychic that told him joining the DC universe was about to become a respectable career move. If so, then I’m sure Ben Affleck wishes he had access to that psychic and a time machine.
But even if RPattz has any remaining hesitation about playing Batman, it should be washed away by the fact that Kristen Stewart is absolutely in his corner, rooting for him to mumble and scowl in that little batmask.
Variety says that while promoting Seberg at TIFF, Kristen was asked about Robert’s upcoming role. Not only does Kristen think Robert will make a good Batman, she thinks he’ll make the best Batman.
“I feel like he’s the only guy that could play that part. I’m so happy for him. It’s crazy. I’m very, very happy about that. I heard that and I was like, ‘Oh man!’ It’s awesome.”
Kristen adds that Robert has the “perfect cheekbones” to play Batman. Angelina Jolie lives in fear today that Disney will hear what Kristen Stewart just said, and they reboot Maleficent starring Robert Pattinson and his perfect cheekbones.
It was rumored last year that Warner Bros. wanted Kristen for Batgirl, but nothing really came of that rumor. Then Kristen admitted last week during an interview with Harper’s Bazaar UK that she was told to tone down the rainbow-colored side of her personal life if she wanted to land a superhero franchise. Elaborating on that statement further, Kristen tells Variety:
“That’s been a conversation that’s always existed. I’ve always radically rejected it. It was literally just a big conglomerate-y type thing. I’m sure they would love to hire the gay kids to be superheroes.”
She also says she’d love to work with Robert Pattinson again, saying: “I’m definitely not turning that down.” Are you hearing this, Warner Bros.? Do you want to undo all the bad press from the last time you put Batman on screen? Cast Kristen Stewart opposite Robert Pattinson. She can play anything. It doesn’t matter the role. Because as long as KStew and RPattz share at least 4 minutes of screen time, the Twihards will eat it up. If you can’t think of anything, use Christian Bale as inspiration. Christian recently spoke to Variety about Robert Batman, and he said: “Good choice! He’s interesting.” So basically, all the writers have to do is write this Batman as interesting as Robert Pattinson. Move Batman from Gotham to Silver Lake. Kristen Stewart can play his personal assistant that also happens to be his experimental barber, yerba mate barista, and on-site stick-poke artist.