Of Course Duchess Meghan’s Ass Jinxed Serena Williams!
As expected, Duchess Meghan showed up to Serena Williams’ US Open final against Canadian teenager Bianca Andreescu yesterday and watched her friend lose. Even though Duchess Jinxy McBadLuck is obviously the sole reason for why Serena lost, the good news is that no peasant was beheaded for daring to take a picture of Meghan. Sure, one of Meghan’s bodyguards chopped off the arm of a peasant who held up a phone to take a picture of her, but they’ll be fine. They can get a hook.
People says that before Meghan viciously jinxed her friend at the US Open, she took a hot yoga class in NYC with a bunch of dirty, smelly regulars:
Meghan, 38, joined a surprisingly full yoga class of up to 60 people on Friday.
“There were lots of sweet, knowing smiles” among some of the respectful patrons, a source tells PEOPLE.
Yes, Meghan flew commercial and then further exposed herself to the disgusting uncouth germs of peons by taking a hot yoga class. I’m sure a Daily Express investigation will uncover that Meghan used British taxpayers money to buy out the entire hot yoga class and fill it with paid extras approved by her.
Speaking of the British tabloids, they are of course wondering if Serena Williams would’ve been better off just breaking a mirror while standing under a ladder as a bunch of black cats walked by than letting Meghan watch her play.
Meghan sat with Venus Williams, Serena’s husband Alexis Ohanian, and Anna Wintour. They all watched 37-year-old Serena get beat 6-3, 7-5 by 19-year-old Bianca Andreescu who became Canada’s first ever grand slam singles champion. This is the third match that Serena has lost while Meghan was in the stands (she lost twice at Wimbledon when Meghan was there) so obviously Meghan is an official JINX!
Afterward, Serena was seen jumping into the stands to beat Meghan with her racket for making her lose again. No, surprisingly that didn’t happen, instead Serena told reporters:
“I honestly don’t think Serena showed up,” Williams said. “I have to kind of figure out how to get her to show up in grand slam finals.”“I love Bianca,” added Williams. “I think she’s a great girl. But I think this was the worst match I’ve played all tournament. It’s hard to know that you could do better. I don’t even know what to say.”
Meghan is talking with Serena's sister, Venus Williams😍
Our baby looks so nervous! She is (of course) praying Serena to win❤️ pic.twitter.com/a1AZaLtz7M
— Cambridge & Sussex 💖 (@cambsandsussex) September 7, 2019
A little more Markle Sparkle at the @usopen #DuchessMeghan #DuchessSussex #usopen #BiancaAndreescu #SerenaWilliams pic.twitter.com/PsfMtRjEma
— Kelly Mathews (@allthingsregal) September 7, 2019
I don’t think Meghan is nervous. She’s obviously still traumatized from flying commercial! Same, Meghan, same.
Pic: Backgrid