Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 30, 2019 / Posted by:

Tula from The Pirates of Dark Water!

An Inconvenient Truth came out in 2006, and it won the Oscar for Best Documentary Features. That was great for Al Gore and all of them, but over a decade earlier in 1991, a very important docu-series on climate change beamed through our screens and the only thing it got reward with was early cancellation! If only Al Gore produced it!

But seriously, The Pirates of Dark Water was a cartoon from Hanna-Barbera and it ran for two seasons. It was about a prince, a teenage tavern wench, a rogue pirate, and a monkey-bird who are trying to find a lost treasure that’ll stop their planet from being eaten by an evil substance known as Dark Water. I told you! An Inconvenient Truth, WHO?! The prince was voiced by George Newbern (aka Julia’s son from Designing Women and The Yeti from Friends), the monkey-bird was voiced by Roddy McDowall, the rogue pirate was voiced by Hector Elizondo, and the tavern wench was voiced by Jodi Benson, who’s the voice of Ariel in Disney’s The Little Mermaid. Brock Peters and Tim Curry voiced villains. It was an all-star cast!

But today we’re going to specifically pay tribute to the tavern wench Tula! Tula was a stowaway on the prince’s ship, and at first they thought she was just your average tavern wench (side note: no tavern wench is average!), but she turned out to be a planet-loving warrior Ecomancer who could tame the wildest of beasts. Tula helped her fellow planet-saving pirates to find the lost treasure and battle against the evil pirate who wanted the treasures to himself. Get into the intro for this anti-climate change masterpiece!

The Pirates of Dark Water ended after only 21 episodes, and there was no real ending, so there’s many a 30-something who wakes up in the middle of the night wondering whatever happened to Tula, her crew, and their planet!

While I’m not sure what happened to Tula, I do know that Disney snatched her, gave her a Bump-It and a body wave, and slapped an extra thick eyebrow situation onto her face before renaming her Esmerelda. And if Tula was white, she’d be Leonardo DiCaprio’s dream girl. Although, she’d probably turn his ass down, knowing that not even she can tame the slobbery beasts of The Pussy Posse.

Pic: PiratesofDarkWater.net

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