Deadline reports that a new house flipping show is coming our way, but since house flipping shows are a dime a dozen, this one is throwing in some true crime. Because if your show doesn’t have some true crime in it, why does it even exist?! Murder House Flip coming from one of the guys who worked on CSI, so get ready to watch as contractors get haunted by the spirits of stabbing victims while getting measurements for the new granite countertop!
The video platform Quibi (I mean, there are too many things now) has ordered a series which will now make me have to find out what the hell Quibi is! Apparently, it’s a short-form video streaming service? Unclear. Murder House Flip may sound like the parody series-within-a-series that appears in an episode of American Horror Story but this is real.
Josh Berman worked on CSI for six years, and was executive producer in season six–so you know he knows a thing or two about gruesome deaths. Well he’s decided to apply that niche knowledge to a new kind of television experience but this time the bodies are long gone and the crime’s resolution is totally irrelevant. His series will focus on home-renovations for houses where people were killed. He said of the show:
“We are excited to partner with Quibi to deliver a spin on a home makeover show in unique short form content. Murder House Flip combines home renovations with the intriguing elements of a true crime series. Bringing healing and solace to families living in the aftermath of tragic events by transforming dark places into healthy spaces.”
Elyse Seder, who is Senior Vice President of Alternative & Syndicated Programming for Sony Pictures Television–who is the studio producing–said:
“We are thrilled to bring this one of a kind series to life and dive into a world that combines America’s two biggest TV obsessions: true crime and home renovation.”
I mean, she’s not wrong. Throw in some cooking elements, some people falling, and you’re hitting all the bases. As for the show itself it’s been described as:
“An unconventional home-renovation show that takes on the country’s most infamous homes–the ones known for the mysterious murders and incredible intrigue committed within their walls. Homeowners turn to the colorful cast of forensic specialists, spiritual healers and high-end renovation experts to uncover the true crimes, shocking secrets and scandalous history of their homes. Then, cleansing renovations remove the stains of the past and take these homes from morbid to marvelous.”
If you don’t find bones in one of these houses, I will be DISappointed. If some Wiccan isn’t having you all sit down around a small circular table with all the lights out and the candles lit before chanting to the spirits who are still there, I will check out. I need bumps in the night. I need spooks. I need some poor interns hearing some otherworldly noise they aren’t being paid nearly enough to be hearing. I need Gwyneth Paltrow‘s spirit hacker laying the foundation with jade vagina eggs which ward off evil. I need it all.