Hot Slut Of The Day!
The big inflatable ass that was the crown jewel of Lizzo’s VMAs performance!
There were many big old asses on stage at the MTV VMAs last night (and we’ll cover most of them today, so clothespin your nose holes shut unless you want to inhale dank stream of stinky butt fumes), but this big old ass was a big old ass of the good kind! When lightning bolt of sequined sunshine Lizzo took the stage to yodel out Truth Hurts and Good As Hell, she did it in front of a gigantic inflatable ass that was about half the size of the gigantic inflatable ass that Kim Kartrashian had installed many years ago, and was much less plastic. But it a million times more magnificent than anything a Kartrashian has served us.
If Sir Mix-A-Lot produced and directed a reboot of James and the Giant Peach, those hot air buns is what the peach would look like. I haven’t seen two big fake asses like that on the VMAs stage since Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus’ retina-burning performance, only the big fake ass during Lizzo’s performance spewed out much less hot air. It’s a good thing that Drake wasn’t there, because he would’ve crashed the stage, and pushed Lizzo and her dancers out of the way to eat and fuck that giant ass.
If 98% of the VMAs was nothing but Lizzo guzzling from her bedazzled Patron bottle while in front of that hot air balloon of nalgas hotness, the show would be 98% more entertaining. That giant ass for host next year! I mean, it’d be an upgrade.
And here’s Lizzo serving “Jessica Rabbit possessing the body of a black Peg Bundy” glamour!
Pics: YouTube, Wenn.com