Two years ago, Dave Chappelle released two Netflix stand-up specials, Equanimity and The Bird Revelation. Dave spent some time in The Bird Revelation defending his good friend Louis CK. Dave has a new Netflix special, Sticks & Stones, and once again he’s making us feel sorry for his publicist. Dave makes it very clear how he felt about HBO’s Michael Jackson documentary Leaving Neverland, which is to say he’s absolutely on Team Michael.
If what they say about sticks and stones is true, then Dave probably won’t be hurt by everyone who is about to call his opinions total trash. Because Dave wasn’t just coming out as pro-MJ. He also made it know that he thinks the sexual abuse allegations made by Wade Robson and James Safechuck in Leaving Neverland are lies. His proof? Well, MJ didn’t do anything to Macaulay Culkin, and that’s the first kid Dave would have gone for. He also came for the #MeToo movement. It’s appropriate Dave performed this bit in what appears to be a custodian’s clean-up jumpsuit, because it’s all kinds of messy and shitty. via The Hollywood Reporter:
“This is the worst time ever to be a celebrity,. You’re gonna be finished. Everyone’s doomed. Michael Jackson has been dead for 10 years, and this n— has two new cases. Don’t watch [Leaving Neverland]. It’s fucking gross.
I don’t think he did it, but you know what? Even if he did do it…you know what I mean? I mean, it’s Michael Jackson. I know more than half the people in this room have been molested in their lives, but it wasn’t no goddamn Michael Jackson, was it?
Somebody’s got to teach these kids: there’s no such thing as a free trip to Hawaii. He’s gonna want to look at your butt hole or something. You know why I don’t believe it? Because if Michael Jackson is out here doing all this molesting, then why not Macaulay Culkin?…I’m not a pedophile, but if I was, Macaulay Culkin’s the first kid I’m fucking. I’ll tell you that right now.”
Dave goes on to say that R. Kelly is a different situation, because “he probably did that shit.”
This is far from the first time Dave has defended Michael Jackson against the molestation allegations. He addressed the situation back in 2004’s For What It’s Worth. And he implied the accusers are liars.
Hmmm…I wonder why Netflix decided to promote Sticks & Stones with a clip about #cancelled culture instead of Dave’s super-hot take on two accusers that he’s 100% sure lied about being sexually abused and assaulted by Dave’s favorite Jackson?
Wow ok. Dave Chappelle's impressions are spot on.
Sticks & Stones is streaming now! pic.twitter.com/zD9BBQsGdj
— Netflix Is A Joke (@NetflixIsAJoke) August 26, 2019
Wade Robson and James Safechuck heard what Dave had to say about them, and they both released statements to TMZ.
James’ statement: “I’m heartbroken for all those children who look to see how they will be received when they finally find the courage to speak out about their sexual abuse. I just want to reach out to other survivors and let them know that we can’t let this type of behavior silence us. Together we are strong.”
Wade’s statement: “He can say whatever he wants. It reveals him, not us.”
Wade’s lawyer Vince Finaldi had a lot to say about Dave’s position on Leaving Neverland. He also managed to get in a shady dig at Dave’s career.
“Although Mr. Chappelle is entitled to his opinions, however misinformed they may be, it’s unfortunate that he has chosen to use his platform to shame sexual abuse victims, and spread his ignorance of sexual abuse and the way it is perpetrated upon children, in an attempt to resurrect his career.
Mr. Chappelle should look to fellow comedian Hannibal Buress, who instead used his platform as a mode of social change, by addressing the injustice of Bill Cosby’s alleged sexual abuse of many women head on when no other comedian would, as an example of positive work done from a place of intestinal fortitude.”
As everyone remembers, Hannibal Buress brought up the long-rumored allegations against Bill Cosby during a stand-up set back in 2014, which set in place a chain reaction that ended with Bill Cosby being convicted of rape and sentenced to 3 years in prison. The only chain reaction Dave’s stand-up set is going to trigger is the Jackson family calling Dave up and thanking him profusely for publicly defending MJ’s legacy. Because I’m sure they’re extremely grateful to have a supporter that’s just a few rungs higher on the celebrity respect ladder than Aaron Carter.