Open Post: Hosted By Christina Hendricks’ Revelation That Her Hand Is On The Poster For “American Beauty”

August 23, 2019 / Posted by:

Remember when people found out that Kevin Coster played a corpse in The Big Chill but was cut from the final edit and then all of a sudden everybody worked that “did you know…?” tidbit into every subsequent conversation having to do with The Big Chill or Kevin Coster’s career? Well, it’s about to happen again. Did you know that the hand holding the rose in the American Beauty poster belongs to Christina Hendricks? You know, Joan from Mad Men? Isn’t that crazy?

Christina posted this intriguing fact on Instagram. Apparently, in her early career she worked as a hand model. And you can see why! Christina’s got the sexiest, juiciest, most articulate pair I’ve ever had the privilege to gaze upon. Hands, people! I’m talking about her hands! And they’re down there.

Jesus, I’m mad at Kevin Spacey all over again. American Beauty was a good movie, wasn’t it? At least I remember Annette Bening’s performance being absolute perfection. It probably doesn’t hold up though, given the subject matter, and what we now know about you know who’s real life alleged predilections and acquaintances. But I have an idea of how to fix it, now that we know Christina is “in it” too. Why waste Annette’s Academy Award nominated performance? They should re-cut the movie and replace you know who with Christina’s hands. Just picture it! Lustful lady fingers angrily lifting weights in the garage while Annette screams her head off upstairs. Now that is a movie that would stand the test of time. Let’s make this happen, it can be done!


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