I don’t understand weed anymore. What used to live in a cigar box on top of my aunt’s refrigerator is not what the kids are smoking these days. But I’m using “kids” too generously here. Brody Jenner is now 36 years old, but I’m guessing he’s never been startled by a seed popping in his life. Brody’s ex, Kaitlynn Carter, and her new lover, Miley Cyrus, went in together on a gift of artisanal weed by the ever so twee and trendy Lowell Herb Company. Brody took to Instagram so show off his haul in an Instagram story, making sure to feature the card from Miley and Kaitlynn. Yes, we get it, you’re very, very interesting. Now stop being extra, it’s just weed!
E! News reports:
The one and only Brody Jenner received a beautifully wrapped gift from his ex and her new boo, Miley. On a birthday card, which he shared to his Instagram Story, Miley and Kaitlynn wrote, “WEED like to wish you a Happy Birthday! Love you! Miley + Kaitlynn.”
You can see Brody’s IG story here but this is what Lowell’s weed bouquets look like. E! says the bouquet and box containing Lowell swag and “multiple cannabis products” cost approximately $1,000.
Why in my day *shakes cane*, a gift of weed really meant something. You had to go to your dealer, or they had to come to you, and then you had to smoke them up and listen to 30 minutes of incoherent babbling before they would leave. To save someone that trouble was a true gift. Now you can just buy it with a click of a button and include some “cold pressed cannabis oil”, a “tasting flight”, or a hand-crafted “humidor” made from hardwood and teak ($4500) if you’re so inclined. Whatever happened to just smoking a stale joint of unknown provenance in the privacy of one’s Datsun 210? *sets down cane, immediately forgets where*
Brody continued his birthday celebrations with a pap walk down Malibu beach with his new lady friend Josie Canseco, according to People. So while Miley, Kaitlynn, Brody, and Josie all seem to be happy with the new sleeping arrangements, Miley’s soon to be ex husband Liam Hemsworth is busy thanking his lucky stars that he and Miley never got around to opening a joint checking account. He probably suggested it but she got confused and said “you mean like a humidor, but for money?” E! reports:
“They have a prenup and have kept earnings separate during the marriage,” a source tells E! News. “There is not a lot to divide other than the animals. They both have houses that were purchased individually before the marriage.”
“Liam is just done with it. There is no turning back and he knows he wants to move on,” the insider adds. “They have not had a lot of communication. There is nothing to say.”
Sounds like Liam’s ready to put Miley in his rear view mirror, fists raised and cursing the message that reads “objects may be closer than they appear“.