We’re less than a month away from the 28th season of Dancing with the Stars, the show you watch when you remember it’s fall and The Bachelorette isn’t on anymore. Actually, speaking of The Bachelorette, fans of Hannah Brown will be pleased to know she’ll be bringing her patent-pending brand of primetime network drama back to television, because she scored a spot in the cast. And can you believe that she’s actually one of the lesser stars involved? Where did ABC suddenly get the budget? Someone flag the IRS, ABC is clearly cheating their taxes.
The cast of 12 was revealed today on Good Morning America. As you can see up top, Lamar Odom landed a spot on the show, ushering in his triumphant return to messy reality TV since getting officially written off Keeping Up With The Kardashians. 65-year-old Christie Brinkley is confirmed for the cast, which means there’s a 100% chance she’ll be dancing to “Uptown Girl.” And Dawson of the creek which bears his name (aka James Van Der Beek) will probably be forced to begin a dance by scaling a prop ladder and climbing through a fake bedroom window to a Paula Cole song while thinking, “You know, I was also in Varsity Blues, and CSI: Cyber, and Don’t Trust The B…“.
But the biggest get of all (not really) is former White House press mess Sean Spicer. Sean reportedly passed on DWTS two years ago, but apparently he’s ready for it now. And by “it,” I mean he’s ready for the deluge of tweets that will inevitably come from the White House declaring that his two-step is SAD, and that “Soooo many people have said I do the most fantastic pasta doughboy and the most elegant roomba.”
Not everyone is feeling Sean Spicer’s addition to the cast. Plenty of people called out DWTS online for such blatant stunt casting, including DWTS host Tom Bergeron. Tom let it be known he was hoping that the cast wouldn’t get political, and that he was surprised producers would go there.
Some thoughts about today pic.twitter.com/aCQ4SHrGCI
— Tom Bergeron (@Tom_Bergeron) August 21, 2019
Here’s the rest of the cast with a little note about who they are. No one has been assigned partners just yet, so it’s just the contestants.
Lauren Alaina (Country singer)
Ally Brooke (from Fifth Harmony)
Hannah Brown (former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestant)
Karamo Brown (from Queer Eye)
Kate Flannery (Meredith from The Office)
Ray Lewis (former NFL linebacker)
Kel Mitchell (the non-SNL half of Kenan & Kel)
James Van Der Beek
Mary Wilson (founding member of The Supremes)
It’s anyone’s guess who might win this thing. Everyone has a chance, considering there’s no professional dancers, figure skaters, or gymnasts in the cast this year. With that being said, I hope no one tries to encourage Ray Lewis to kill it on the dance floor, because would be in really poor taste. But if I had to guess who will do best, my money is on Sean Spicer. Sorry Tom! But let’s face it, all he has to do is ask to perform every week in a horrifying Easter Bunny costume. Secretly, he’ll have hired a professional dancer to get in the costume right before he hits the floor. Technically he’d be stealing his win, but let’s not act like stealing is beneath him.