Taylor Swift is moving to London! No, she isn’t–but she is buying a house there. You know how rich people are: houses in various countries because all they do is travel and shop. Well actually you don’t know how that is, since 97% of the world will never experience that or even come close. But Taylor Swift sure can, and she’s looking into buying a place in London for her and her maybe fiancé Joe Alwyn.
Page Six says that Tay Tay is looking to find a cozy little mansion for her and Joe Alwyn to grow old together raising cats and making Pinterest crafts. Joe is from a middle-class family in North London, and he and Taylor have recently been spending a lot more time in England. They were spotted at the Spaniards Inn pub, which is apparently in the “posh” Hampstead Heath. Like I said: I ain’t been nowhere–I’m poor. Sure ain’t going to no “posh” places of foreign countries, thanks. Well it looks like Tay loves it so much in London-town that she’s going to get a place so she can stop having to slum it at the Ritz-Carlton every time she goes–like sheesh.
Taylor is looking to spend up to $30 million on a new London home. I guess she’s just so over this Scooter Braun drama and is flying somewhere to escape him. A source told them:
“Taylor is looking for a grand home in London with two kitchens, so she and Joe can live in privacy and entertain properly. They’ve been splitting their time between [his native] London and [her home in] Nashville–and she keeps sending her jet for him so they can be together. She has three private jets and even her own hanger.”
Taylor definitely needs three private jets. Now all she just needs to do is speak at an eco-conference on the importance of going green.
Meanwhile, catch Scooter Braun trolling her by buying the house next to hers and then being like: “Oh girl I sent you that email I was moving in, remember?”
Page Six’s source is sure to make sure you remember how in love Taylor and Joe are:
“This is just another sign of how close they are. She’s the happiest she’s ever been.”
Well… good for Taylor. I’m glad she’s sold so much of her musical yawns that she can “look to” spend $30 million. Who “looks” to that? That sounds like a mistake–that sounds like a legal settlement after a maiming or death. Must be nice. I’m sure the house will be amazing, with rooms for all the friends she can get rid of when they slight her, millions of Pinterest-craft wall-hangings, cat tunnels leading to every room, and hopefully a functioning security team. Actually, Taylor: maybe cut corners on the real-life Pinterest room and focus on the security. I feel you need it.