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August 14, 2019 / Posted by:

Dunk-A-Balls cereal!

Back in the early-90s, someone at General Mills decided that what the people really needed was a spin-off cereal of Wheaties, and that spin-off cereal should be called Dunk-A-Balls. It was limited edition and stayed limited edition. So, did Dunk-A-Balls cereal never get a permanent spot on grocery store shelves because General Mills marketed it all wrong and should’ve really targeted the tea baggin’ demographic? Definitely.

Dunk-A-Balls cereal was pushed to kids and were wheat and corn puffs that were supposed to look like tiny basketballs. But because those balls weren’t orange and were the color of the flesh of a white dude, they didn’t look like basketballs to me. Unless you’re counting what the basketballs look like in the Scientology Bath House rec center. “I’ll be the hoop!” – John Travolta

Mr. Breakfast says that Dunk-A-Balls cereal was also an experience. The box featured a punch-out hoop that you could attach to your bowl to throw Dunk-A-Balls cereal into. I am pissed I never bought this, because I may have gotten out of P.E. by telling my teacher, “Listen, I dunked a couple of hoops this morning, so we’re good, right?”

Dunk-A-Balls was only a blip in the cereal game of 1994, and it really should’ve had a longer life. But like I said above, General Mills did it wrong by selling it as a children’s cereal. I mean, here’s a YouTube comment that proves my point.

Fun to play with… but they tasted like cream corn and chemicals.

Fun to play with and tastes like cream corn. It should’ve been Sweaty Balls Cereal! What a tragic misstep!

Pic: eBay

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