Lindsay Lohan’s Defunct App Is Still Charging People 

August 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Back in 2017, Lindsay Lohan launched her lifestyle app, letting people in on her beauty secrets (mostly just cigarette smoking and lying) and it went as well as a Lindsay Lohan lifestyle app could. By that I mean, it stopped updating but is still charging whatever customers it has left. So in other words, Lindsay’s app doesn’t work and is shamelessly stealing people’s cash. That app really is on brand.

According to Page Six:

Even after Page Six’s searing exposé sensationally revealed that Lindsay Lohan‘s “premium” app has been charging users $2.99 a month, despite the fact that it’s been dead for years — we’ve now discovered that the app is still taking the monthly fee from its customers (or, more likely, customer).

As we reported exactly one month ago — when we got our last bank statement — the “Mean Girls” star launched the “lifestyle” app in 2017, but quit using it after about three months, realizing that fans had a decidedly satiable appetite for the service.

When we published that item, we figured we’d paid $62.79 for unfettered access to LiLo’s dust-covered feed. Make that $65.78.

So $2.99 a month feels like a lot when one could just stare into a garbage can for free. And not to state the obvious, but who’s looking for lifestyle advice from Lindsay? I guess if you’re looking for advice on how to steal a Syrian baby, or how to become the kept side piece of an alleged murdering prince, Lindsay is the obvious (and only) choice.

At least the good news is that we have figured out the mystery of why the world has gone to shit; we haven’t had Lindsay Lohan to help guide us through our lifestyle choices. Now I’ll never which Lohan leggings I should wear to the abandoned Lohan Beach Club. Or what earrings go best with a DUI court case look. I’m sure Lindsay will right this wrong and refund all the tens of dollars that have been spent on this app and then continue making music, pretend-fighting with Paris Hilton, and acting nothing but pleasant as a judge on The Masked Singer: Australia.

Pic: Wenn.com

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