Who Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

August 9, 2019 / Posted by:

That CorningWare dish and the pussy reincarnation of Alfred Hitchcock are both shaking, because in this Hot Slut of the Month tournament, they’re up against two goddesses of the New York City local news scene. Bring it, CorningWare and Alfred Hitchcat!

July’s HSOTM showdown is between two badass local news queens, an indestructible American icon, and the star of the movie that has taken the #1 spot on AFI’s Greatest Thrillers list (don’t fact check me on that). The first three HSOTM finalist got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth is a wild card picked by me. Your choices for July are:

Darla Miles, the reporter for ABC7 in NYC who proved that she’s got a black belt in “Don’t Try To Mess Up My Shot” when she effortlessly re-directed human traffic that was about to get between her and the camera.

CorningWare from the 80s, the ovenproof and microwavable crown jewel of every single kitchen in the 1980s.

Scare Cat, the tiny fur ball of thrills and chills who took 10 years off the life of her human by busting out the scare of scares. I hear she’s the new scare coordinator on Ellen.

Cheryl Wills, the NY1 anchor who, for me, won every Emmy imaginable by saying one million fightin’ words about hanging out with Trump without saying one word.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be announced next Friday, August 16!

Pics: ABC 7, Amazon, Twitter, NY1

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