Tom Brady has really been getting the Tori Spelling treatment lately. No I don’t mean that he can’t afford his Amex bill–I mean people are coming at him for his parenting skills hard online. First there was that awkward moment when he sort of dragged his daughter over a cliff (safely into water!) and now it’s time for what Tom said about his son not liking sports. In a recent interview with Men’s Health Tom talked all about his fabulous existence because people love to know what’s going on in the lives of people whose lives are better than theirs. During the conversation, Tom said that he’s faced some parenting struggles–his youngest son, Benjamin: isn’t interested in sports. Poor one out for ol’ Tom Brady, this is a TRAGEDY.
Tom Brady is on the cover of Men’s Health with those black training bands which I know from experience are the heaviest duty of a pack, because this ass don’t work itself out:
Tom is clearly super-duper woke and accepting because he’s had to overcome some deep shit. I’m not talking Deflategate. I’m not talking about Donald Trump‘s troublesome friendship. I’m not taking eating a strawberry for the first time. I mean real, true struggle. While Tom’s eldest son, with Bridget Moynahan, John (who is nicknamed Jack for some reason?), is totally into sports and will hit his touchdowns and land his free kicks–or whatever–Benjamin is a little different. It seems Benjamin doesn’t like sports and Tom was beside himself:
“When Benny came along, I thought he would be just like Jack. So I was like, ‘C’mon, let’s do this.’ And he was like, ‘Nope.’ And I was like, ‘What? No, do this!’ And Gisele kept saying to me, ‘Would you effing understand that your son is different?’ It was hard for me. I was like, ‘What do you mean? He’s a boy; he should just do all these things that I do.’ The reality is that Benny just likes different things. And it’s great because now I just have to go do what he wants to do. When we do that, we have the best time. He’s like, ‘OMG, Dad, you’re so funny.’ He loves joking, and I joke back.”
Before you go, “Oh Tom Brady is so woke raising his non-masculine child”, this boy isn’t out here slapping on wigs and lip-syncing to Taylor Swift–he plays video games and watches Jumanji. So like… that’s still “boy” shit?
He continued about how his wife, Gisele Bündchen, is a dreamy, worldly lady who teaches him all about things:
“Gisele is not really into sports… She’s like a kite flying in the sky, and I’m kind of tethering her. Sometimes I have to hold on hard. But she knows I’m always there for her… Gisele’s life has been very nontraditional. She left home at 14; she lived in Japan at 16 in an era with no cell phones. She lived in New York City at 17 without speaking English. In her mind, there are no boundaries. ‘Why can’t you do that? Why do you have to go to school? Why can’t you just leave and live in a different country?’ In her reality, you can. Coming from mine, it was very different. This is what you do: You go to elementary school, go to high school, go to college. In her mind, why do you have to do any of those things? And you know what, she’s right. I’m the one that had to go, ‘You’re right!’ And that’s helped me grow.”
Oh, Gisele, we don’t all look like you and can get modeling gigs at a young age which turn into a multi-million dollar career. If I were to move to a foreign country at 14 and try to make a life, I would not have turned out as an ultra rich supermodel who is married to an ultra rich pile of football-playing rocks. My life-story would be more: Without A Trace than A Star Is Born.
I’m glad that Tom has been able to accept his son for being athletically-challenged–he’s such a woke soul. I mean he is sort of woke, but not because of this. It’s because of his ass-eating. That’s woke.
Pic: Men’s Health