Night Crumbs

August 5, 2019 / Posted by:

For Elle’s September issue, Angelina Jolie went full Beyonce by skipping an interview to write an essay on “wicked women” Oh, Angie, if you wanted to write a long thing on “wicked women,” you didn’t have to bother writing it yourself. You should’ve just asked Brad Pitt to give you all the evil shit he wrote about you in his diary and leaked to the tabloids in an e-mail from the address [email protected]Just Jared

Meanwhile, Maddox Jolie-Pitt is really all grown up and going to college in South Korea. Uh huh “going to college in South Korea” must be code for “setting up base in the California desert for the Jolie child army to really plan their world takeover” – OK! Magazine

In case you wanted to know what Keanu Reeves will look like when he marries you…. while stoned and constipated, apparently – Lainey Gossip 

RIP The OAVulture

Honestly, this turd-brained mess shouldn’t talk shit about drag queens or gays because she needs their help to make her hair not look like a hurricane-hit bird’s nest put together by a sparrow with arthritis and face paint that doesn’t look like a faulty Snapchat villain-face filter  – Towleroad

Excuse me as I brace myself for when it’s announced that anybody but a Bea Arthur hologram is playing the title role in Maude Live!SOW

Bella Thorne decided to give herself a coochie wedgie for some reason – Drunken Stepfather

Out of all the ones from that 90210 reboot, you force me to pose with fucking Adrianna?!” is what that gorgeous white pussy is thinking – Hollywood Tuna

For a millisecond there, I thought that Jenna Jameson got a whole lot of face work – Popoholic

In case you missed RiRi’s dragging of Jabba the Trump – Celebitchy

Pic: Alexi Lubomirski/Elle

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