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August 4, 2019 / Posted by:

Prince, Barbie’s opulently luxurious poodle!

In 1984, Mattel decided that Day-To-Night Barbie (aka the Barbie who went from serious business manager of a barbershop quartet to sparkly goddess of the night in the blink of an eye) needed an equally as glamorous sidekick who elevated her to upper echelons of elegance. They gave us Prince the poodle. And a year later, the other Prince (Jehovah is going to slap me raw for that one) released the masterpiece classic Raspberry Beret. Coincidence, I think not! The other Prince was obviously inspired by Prince the poodle’s look and wrote that song just for him. Shut up, if you’re saying, “But Michael, you dumb fuck, Raspberry Beret was recorded in 1982.” I don’t need your silly facts right now. I’m trying to make a point and the point is that the other Prince knew a glamour icon when he saw one!

Prince was a delicate creature of refinement, who may have come off as an uppity snob, but he obviously wasn’t. I mean, look at how he kept it casual in a daytime bow tie, a silky pink tail ribbon, and a sparkly raspberry beret. The epitome of casual! Let’s get a closer look at Prince causing the anal glands of all dogs to pop with jealousy over him looking like the canine reincarnation of Liberace. The only thing gloriously gayer than a toy poodle in a raspberry beret is me playing with a toy poodle in a raspberry beret while singing Raspberry Beret.

And here’s that cotton ball origami of a dog casually lounging in Barbie’s apartment, which looks like an Olan Mills studio:

There’s a handful of Prince the poodles on eBay, and a brand new one is going for $170. That can’t be right. I mean, someone should either alert the seller that they’ve forgotten to add seven zeroes or report them for selling a fraudulent Prince. Because obviously most of the Princes out there are being kept safe in Fort Knox like the priceless American treasures they are.

Pics: Flickr, Worthpoint, Trading Card DB

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