Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 2, 2019 / Posted by:

Louise Signore, the centenarian who says that the secret to living forever is to keep a ring off your hitchin’ finger!

When a super memaw or pepaw reaches Methuselah level one in the game of life by turning 100, they’re always asked by a reporter what the key to living a long life is. To me, the key is obvious. It’s: don’t die, bitch. But these super memaw and pepaws humor a youngin’ by saying that they’ve lived to see a 100 and beyond by doing everything from not gossiping and staying away from junk food (BOO! LIES!) to guzzling down the sweet nectar (YAY! TRUTH!). Sage Louise Signore also believes that the key to joining the Centenarian Club is what goes into your body, specifically not putting married parts (well, the parts of someone you’re married to) into your mouth. Louise says that not getting married is why she saw her 107th birthday.

Louise was born in Manhattan in 1912 and moved to the Bronx when she was 14 years old. She still lives there today, and for many, many years, friends have thrown her a birthday party¬†at the JASA Bartow Senior Center in Coop City. Louise didn’t really want to talk to reporters, and probably because her ears get the YAWNS from being asked the same damn questions like, “What was Jesus like? Was Larry King a fun baby sitter? What is the KEY to longevity?!” But Louise was gracious enough to finally answer the same boring questions to CBS 2 and said that she keeps really busy, and believes that the secret to her longevity is:

“I think the secret of 107 years is I never got married. I think that’s the secret. My sister says, ‘I wish I never got married.’ She says!”

Here’s Louise dropping some words of wisdom into everyone’s ears as her friend, who is giving me Rue McClanahan meets Lucille Balls meets a 1920s cartoon gorgeousness, looks at her with shady eyes like, “Total lesbo.” NO!

Louise’s friends are all in awe of her and say she’s awesome.

Louise might be onto something, because being married means saying goodbye to fucking, and saying goodbye to fucking means saying goodbye to life. But on the other hand, if you don’t get married, that means you won’t really have anyone to bitch at, moan at, and boss around and all of that keeps the heart beating!

Pic: CBS2

 

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

Comments are closed.

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >