Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 31, 2019 / Posted by:

Logan, the dog who was forced to marry his human on live TV!

You may have heard about the dog who got married to a human woman on morning television in Britain, and thought to yourself that Piers Morgan is so full of himself that he renewed his vows with his wife on his morning TV show (no offense to dogs). But this didn’t happen on Good Morning Britain. This happened on ITV’s This Morning when 49-year-old former model Elizabeth Hoad married 6-year-old Logan, the golden retriever. This move has prompted me to star the #FREELOGAN movement!

Look, I get it. Some of us have been to that place where we’re done with human men, and since we’re told that we should marry our best friend, we think, “Why not marry man’s best friend then?!” I mean, dogs make great spouses, because they’re loyal, they like to cuddle, they don’t speak human words, they’ll let you watch whatever you want, and most of them won’t live past 20 years. The perfect spouse! But then again, doing sex with them is wrong and illegal.

With that being said, that didn’t stop Elizabeth from marrying Logan on TV. Elizabeth declared that she’s done with dating human men after going on 221 dates over the years, getting engaged 4 times (without making it to the altar once), and giving birth to a son who is now 25. Elizabeth found the soulmate she wants to spend the rest of his life with and it’s Logan.

Alison Hammond, a host on This Morning, officiated the ceremony while¬†Kem Cetinay of Love Island served as Logan’s best man (they couldn’t even get one of the other fucking dogs to do it?!). Elizabeth wore a Rose Parade float on her head and Logan accessorized his pants-less tuxedo with the look of pure shame. The pun-filled ceremony ended with Elizabeth saying “I do” to Logan, and since he can’t speak human, she had to say the words for him. And as she did, his eyes said, “I do NOT!

I don’t even want to see Elizabeth and Logan’s wedding registry. If it’s nothing but jars of peanut butter, Elizabeth needs to be spending her honeymoon in the clink.

And yes, this was solely for cheap attention, but still. Logan didn’t want to be dragged into this! Although, maybe he does, and his plan is to stay married to Elizabeth long enough for him to file for divorce and get a huge chunk of her money. If that’s the case, gold dig on, you gold digging golden retriever.

Pic: YouTube

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