Open Post: Hosted By The Las Vegas Grasshopper Invasion Of 2019

July 28, 2019 / Posted by:

This is some biblical shit. Swarms of insects invading the City of Sin? Get out of the casinos and the strip clubs and flee for the border before you all turn into pillars of salt or burning bushes! CBS News and NBC News reported on this grasshopper infestation that is surely going to send you entomophobia-types out there into a fit of screams and scratching.

Wet weather has reportedly led to thousands of grasshoppers swarming the Las Vegas strip. Can they find the hooker that stole my wallet outside of Caeser’s Palace that time? And bite her? True story.

Nevada state entomologist Jeff Knight told reporters the number of adult pallid-winged grasshoppers traveling north to central Nevada is unusual but not unprecedented and they pose no danger. Knight says the insects don’t carry disease, don’t bite, and probably won’t damage anybody’s yard before they’re gone in several weeks. He says they’re usually attracted to ultraviolet light sources.

Ugh, it turns out they’re harmless so my revenge has to wait but still – they’re terrifying en masse. It’s bad enough that Las Vegas is a soul-sapping city designed to render you senseless and poor but now they have bugs infesting the streets. This is why those crazy dudes with the Jesus sandwich boards yell on street corners.


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