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July 26, 2019 / Posted by:

The dumpster-stealing bear!

Bears saw the birds snatching up things from humans, and decided to show those bitches how it’s really done. Again. One bear in Colorado decided to go out for dinner two Wednesdays ago, and probably strolled by a P.F. Chang’s dumpster and thought, “Nope, don’t feel like Chinese tonight,” before strolling by a Taco Bell dumpster and thinking, “Nope, don’t feel like shitting out my bear guts tonight.” The bear then made a very good decision to hit up a marijuana dispenser dumpster, because that furry thief probably knew that all kinds of stoner delights awaited inside.

The Colorado Parks and Wildlife tweeted security cam footage from the night of July 17 in the dumpster area of a weed shop called The Bud Depot in Lyons, CO. The bear saunters on through the gate, sniffs at the dumpster, and obviously likes what he smells. Was there some good shit inside (if so, that weed shop should be SHUT DOWN for throwing away such preciousness) or maybe some scraps of Hot Fries, or some other stoner munchies. But Bud Depot tricked that bitch by bear-proofing their dumpster with a lock. But BUT that bear tried to get the last laugh by stealing the entire dumpster and rolling it out of the gate. But eventually, the bear gave up and abandoned the dumpster.

I haven’t seen a bear awkwardly try to handle a trash receptacle like this since I looked in the mirror while hooking up with a nervous hairy top from Grindr:

The manager of The Bud Depot told FOX31 that they’re not stupid enough to throw away weed. The dumpster was just filled with boring cardboard boxes.

“Oh, [it’s] just boxes. It’s none of the fun stuff like you would imagine,” Nikko Garza, manager at The Bud Depot, told FOX31.

“He’s all into the Rocky Mountain high and I don’t blame him. He knows the good stuff when he sees it, or smells it,” Garza said.

Or, maybe the bear was just trying to help the staff with their chores.

“Everybody wants to work at a cannabis shop. He’s just showing initiative,” Garza said.

People have been joking about that bear being a stoner, but maybe he is. I mean, he got a bright idea and tried to execute it before giving up halfway to go and smoke a bowl. The story of my life.

Pic: Twitter

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