Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 24, 2019 / Posted by:

The unicorn In-N-Out Double Double that was found in pristine condition on a street in NYC, hundreds of miles from the nearest In-N-Out!

Years ago, a couple in California found $11 million worth of gold coins buried in their yard. Yes, that is a life-changing treasure that caused me to dig up holes in my mom’s backyard in hopes that I’d find buried treasure that would lead to me living a life of nothing but top-shelf weed wishes and man meat dreams (which is my version of champagne wishes and caviar dreams). But that $11 million worth of gold coins has nothing on the rare and flawless ground beef jewel that was found in Jamaica, Queens over the weekend.

Lincoln Boehm, who is from Southern California but lives in the land of Shake Shack known as NYC, was walking to McDonald’s in Jamaica, Queens when the Fast Food Gods decided to spare his soul from taking in that patty of beef flavored-worm shit and put a Double Double from In-N-Out in his path. Lincoln, who was with his wife at the time, probably looked at that flawless diamond wrapped in a rainbow the same way I look at a real-life Grindr trick who actually shows up at my door. He was probably like, “Is this real life?” It was and Lincoln got picture proof!

The nearest In-N-Out is 1,500 miles away in Texas, so nobody knows how it made its way to NYC. Lincoln tells The New York Post that an In-N-Out burger is his “Death Row meal” and so he’s tried to bring them over from CA before with zero luck:

“Every time I’ve done it it becomes inedible,” he said. “The bun gets soggy and it becomes a mess. This one was just in such perfect condition… It just felt strange… at first I thought it was some sort of viral marketing thing.”

But, Boehm added: “If it was a stunt — why on earth would they pick a street in Jamaica, Queens at 6:30 a.m.?”

Ever since that post when viral, Lincoln’s DMs have been filling up with theories, and one theory he has is that some rich douche brought a bunch of Double Doubles over on their private jet, and while driving from the airport, threw them out of the window at people as a douchey joke.

I don’t know…

I have a different theory. I bet that in the part of heaven that lies above Jamaica, Queens, an angel couldn’t find a toilet and so shit on a cloud, which gave way, releasing the shit onto earth below where it landed on the street. That makes the most sense to me since angels do shit Double Doubles.

Pic: Instagram

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