It happens to us all! As we age, our bodies deteriorate and we aren’t able to do all the same things we used to. Joints creak as we go up stairs. We aren’t able to hop fences like we did as teenagers. You have to go, “What did you say?”, but also say, “Can you turn that music down?” Well 63-year-old Whoopi Goldberg seems to have reached a milestone in the aging process: getting too old to drive. Whoopi revealed that she no longer drives herself because her eyesight is not what it used to be. Which seems like a blessing in my opinion, because now she can get stoned in the back seat while someone else drives her everywhere–ideal! And that’s maybe why she looks at “rape” and asks “Is that rape rape?,” because she can’t see it too well.
Entertainment Tonight reports that Whoopi may have survived pneumonia, but people won’t survive her behind the wheel of a car. She is no longer of the driving variety. On yesterday’s episode of The View, she was speaking with Kumail Nanjiani and she let it be known that people have basically told her if she drives she’s a fucking menace to society:
“I have a driver. The reason I have a driver is because I am not allowed to drive. My sight is not good enough, people get nervous when I get behind the wheel. So, I am not allowed to really drive.”
Well Whoopi Goldberg and my 90-year-old grandmother have not being allowed to drive in common. However, unlike Whoopi Goldberg, my grandma is much less accepting of her inability to drive. Also unlike Whoopi Goldberg, my grandma isn’t rich and can’t get a driver. So guess who drives her to the drug store for three hours at a time? Me.
Previously this month, Whoopi sort of talked shit about the gig she’s had for the last decade–chattering away with women about their opinions on the hot topics of the moment on The View. She told the New York Times:
“It’s my job. I get [fulfillment] from the fact that I’m doing anything. What you’re asking is, ‘Is The View enough?’ It’s not. Ten years is a long time, and now I’m starting to do other stuff. I’m doing books. I’m adventuring into THC products. I’m creating the clothes… [In a way I’m] playing a role… These are not conversations that I’m having with my friends. If they were, we’d be doing it differently. My friends and I can talk about things in depth in a different way than you can on television.”
The View isn’t fulfilling enough for you? Are you suggesting you don’t get enough joy from trying to reign in Meghan McCain‘s indignant cluelessness? You don’t love listening to Meghan complain about not speaking as she continues to speak? You aren’t satisfied with a life of constantly attempting to stop three-to-four other women from talking over one another? Wow, some people are never satisfied.