Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Jimmy De Frenne, Al Bundy’s hero who stuck his nalgas to a toilet seat in hopes of getting a Guinness World Record!

For some of us, toilet time is a time for meditation, reflection, and looking at Instagram Stories, and sometimes it’s a time for us to squeeze out our wishes and dreams for the future from our brains (as we squeeze out a nightmare and the rank ghost of our meals past from our b-holes). One man from Belgium put toilet time and his dreams together, and went for the Guinness World Record for toilet sitting.

Jimmy told Reuters that there’s no official Guinness World Record for the longest time spent sitting on the toilet, but as far as he knows, the unofficial record is 100 hours. So he decided that one goal in his life to shit all over that record by sitting on a toilet for 165 hours. Jimmy set up the toilet in a restaurant in Ostend, which makes sense, because who doesn’t want to see a grown man sitting on a toilet as you bite into your chocolate croissant? File that under: the entertainment at the Scat Queen Cafe.

But Jimmy kind of pooped out on this stunt, because the toilet wasn’t hooked up to any plumbing and the only kind of pissing he did on the pot was pissing his time away. Jimmy went straight-up against the Shit Or Get Off The Pot crowd by not shitting and not getting off the pot. Jimmy was able to take a 5-minute break every hour, or he could rack up his break time by staying on the toilet for several hours. He used his breaks to stretch his legs and go to the bathroom for real. 48-year-old Jimmy planned on toilet sitting for 165 hours, but had to cut it short after 116 hours, because he got the tireds and his legs hurt. As to why he did it, he said this (via Newsweek):

“Self-mockery is the best humor there is,” De Frenne told Reuters. “Why am I doing this? Why not? There is nothing I like more than people making fun of me, because then I can do the same with them.”

And here’s a riveting segment from Inside Edition on the only Game of Thrones I care about.

Guinness knew of Jimmy’s mission, and local officials checked in on him here and there. They have yet to officially give him the record.

The thing is, even if Jimmy officially gets the record, he’ll never hold the true record. That’s if a story I wrote about in 2008 turned out to be true. In 2008, police were called to a home after a 30-something-year-old woman refused to get off her boyfriend’s toilet for TWO FUCKING YEARS. She had been there so long that her ass skin became one with the toilet seat and doctors had to later carefully remove her from the seat.

So whoever that lady is, she holds the record, and she’s got the torn-off nalgitas skin to prove it.

And 116 hours is a long time, but I think I spent that long, if not longer, on the toilet after eating Monster Tacos at Jack in the Box.

Pic: YouTube

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