Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 14, 2019 / Posted by:

While cooking something at my mom’s house last weekend, I went to look for a baking dish, and when I went through her cupboard, I was hit in the face by some oven-proof nostalgia in the form of her CorningWare baking dish that looks exactly like the one in the picture above. She got it sometime in the mid-80s, and when I asked her about it, she rattled on some long tale about how her co-worker Loretta kept bothering her about buying some crap from a catalog company that Loretta side-hustled for, and my mom didn’t want to but finally gave in and bought that casserole dish. And while my mom went on about how she’s still mad at Loretta for pressuring her into buying some crap, I held that precious ceramic artifact in my hand as though it was a flawless diamond pooted out by Dame Joan Collins. It’s that special.

Wikipedia says that CorningWare was the ceramic glass baby of inventor S. Donald Stookey, who discovered Pyroceram, a type of glass-ceramic that could withstand the heat of a Heat Miser fart. That led to CorningWare, a line of cookware that came out in 1958. You could do anything to that bitch. You could heat it, freeze it, put it on the stovetop, microwave it, and broil it, and it’d still think to itself, “That’s all you got?” Mariah Carey could bust out one of her dog eardrum-busting whistle notes right into the belly of a casserole CorningWare dish, and it wouldn’t even stress. The one my mom has (the stunning one above) doesn’t have one crack in it.

CorningWare also put out other designs in the 80s like this one, which looks like the French countryside queefed all over the front of it:

And this minimalist cornflower one that most of my friends’ moms had:

The timeless designs above were from the 70s and 80s, but CorningWare was around up until 2000 when production stopped, because that’s obviously the time when people stopped having good taste. It later came back, but never looked as elegantly simple as the important heirlooms of America above.

If you’ve got one in your kitchen, you should really charge people to come into your house, because you obviously live in a mini Smithsonian since a CorningWare casserole dish is an important piece of historic art.

And there was a recent claim that cockroaches are becoming more and more indestructible, even more indestructible than the Kartrashians. Please, long after those “indestructible” cockroaches are gone, guess what will still be around looking as flawlessly beautiful as ever? Do I even have to ask.

Pics: Etsy, Replacements, Replacements

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