Hot Slut Of The Day!
Enchanted Palace!
If Disney truly wanted to make that Maleficent 2 mess an opulent spectacle, they’d model the set after the extravagantly luxurious Enchanted Palace board game (although they probably don’t have the budget for it). Enchanted Palace came out in 1994 and was marketed toward little girls (and the gay brother who’d steal that shit from their asses and play it by himself on the down-low in his closet). Not only did the board game make people say, “Holy shit, did an Oscar-winning set designer from Hollywood build that just for you?”, it also had STORY!
The story was that an evil witch stormed a good queen’s palace, and locked her ass in the tower. Before getting imprisoned by the evil witch, the good queen threw her magical wand down so you could use it to save her. So you’d use the wand, which lit and up and talked (I’m telling you, this game probably made Hollywood seethe with jealousy), to search the rooms of the palace for a lantern, a key, and a mirror, which you needed to save the queen. Board Game Geek explains the rest like this:
When the wand lights up, you’ll hear different sounds from each of the 7 rooms – birds singing in the garden, music from the music room, and even moans from the dungeon! Then listen closely and the Good Queen will tell you what to do.
Beware the Evil Witch – she’ll turn anyone into a frog! Use the wand to undo her spells and save your friends!
Whoever won would get crowned the princess of the kingdom by the queen.
I mentioned Maleficent 2 above, and I’m going to mention it again now, because this commercial is more riveting, high-budget, and cinematically gorgeous than that wreck!
I should get one of these games on eBay, and win it. That way I’ll be crowned a princess of a kingdom, and will get invited to royal events where I can snatch away Prince Hot Ginge from Duchess Meghan. What a brilliant plan!
Pic: eBay